Doctor, What is Your Catchphrase?

As a reminder that Doctor Who hiatus is more than halfway over (you can either scream in delight or terror based on how well you remember season 8), here’s a I-have-no-idea-what-to-post-this-week-post.

Many people have puzzled over the age long question, the second oldest question in the universe (after Doctor Who)…

What is the doctor’s catchphrase?

Nine, Ten, and Eleven had pretty obvious ones. Who could forget the cheerful declaration “FANTASTIC”? Everyone remembers Ten’s declaration “ALLONS-Y” that caused French to be the language of love… that’s a lie by the way don’t go repeating that. And of course, Eleven’s phrase, which still rings fresh in our memory (because we miss his season dearly), “GERONIMO!”

When Twelve came along, one of the things I was most excited for was his catchphrase (that is, until season 8 became a huge bust and then I was excited for the monstrosity to end). As the season progressed, it became apparent that Twelve really didn’t have an obvious catchphrase.

Today, I will, once and for all, present the facts and you, the reader, can decide what Twelve’s catchphrase is.

There are several contenders.

There’s the fan favorite:

But twelve only says this phrase once, so unfortunately this cannot be his catchphrase. Yes I know, I want it to be his catchphrase as well.

There is of course,

Also quite possibly, just “shut up.” Twelve tends to say this phrase a lot, and Moffat also “confirms” that this is twelve’s catchphrase. However, since Moffat is so bad at writing (what with all his plotholes and his terrible botching of Doctor Who season 8), coupled the fact that he hasn’t made Johnlock canon yet, we can pretty much ignore everything he’s saying.

“Shut up,” however, remains a pretty compelling catchphrase. The Doctor also says “shut up” an incredible 21 times. But did “shut up” stand out to us like the other catchphrases of the Doctor? No. I hardly noticed Twelve saying “shut up” once (except for that one instance up above).

Therefore ignore Moffat.

And now, you’re probably saying, “But Grace, there are literally no choices left!” Well, let me present to you these statistics.

Twelve has said “shut up” a total of 21 times.

But there is something that Twelve has said 110 times.

That’s right folks, Twelve has uttered a single phrase 110 times.

What’s this phrase you might ask?

CLARA.

However, Clara is a pretty bad catchphrase (no offense Clara). Although it cannot be denied that “Clara” has been said the most, it’s also true that Nine and Ten both said “Rose” a lot, while Eleven had a plethora of things he called his companions (i.e. impossible girl, soufflé girl, pond, etc).

At this point though, a lot of people have accepted “Clara” to be Twelve’s catchphrase. Let me present this comic:

Amusing? Yes I think so too.

You’ve been given the facts America… I mean world. NOW DECIDE.

Supergirl: Age of Me

Well, once you’re done watching that monstrosity, let’s discuss. Ok, rather, I rant to you about how terrible I think it is.

(Disclaimer: this is only about the trailer, and I have no idea how the actual show is going to turn out. But whatever.)

So I watched the trailer at 12:00 one night and once it was over I screamed “WHAT?” so loudly that I woke my entire family up. It was so bad. I was fuming. Whatever.

While the trailer has terrible timing, terrible acting, terrible cheesiness, and of course that TERRIBLE joke at the end, the worst part of it is the SEXISM.

Go on and tell me that female superheroes “don’t work.” You wanna know why they don’t work? EXHIBIT A: SUPERGIRL TRAILER. NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH IT.

First of all, the first 2 minutes and 30 seconds of the trailer make Kara (aka Supergirl) this awkward, lovable, dorky girl with… Wait for it… GLASSES! And of course she’s working for some rich bitchy woman who immediately becomes a “villain.” And yes. It takes 2 WHOLE MINUTES for her to discover her superhero identity power things, which for some reason she has decided to keep dormant for 20-or-so-years.

Honestly, if there wasn’t that terrible CGI-ed beginning I might’ve thought it was some sort of romantic comedy. But it isn’t. It’s show so terrible it might as well be a comedy.

And then, when she discovers her MAGICAL powers she drops the glasses and she’s somehow magically beautiful.

And then, THE WORST PART IN THE TRAILER BY FAR.

The bitchy blond boss decides to name the new heroine “Supergirl,” and Kara disagrees, prompting bitchy blond woman to name off a list of things that makes her “awesome,” trying to make herself “superior” to Kara.

LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR: one woman’s successes does not in ANY WAY hinder another woman. In fact, a woman’s successes should pave the way for other women. Despite how innocently this competition problem may be portrayed in the trailer, the fact of the matter is that this is the exact problem that is hindering all people from equality. We all argue about who is better, who has more problems, etc, etc. This, by the way, is totally stupid, and if the media wants to stop spreading the supposed “awesomeness” of nonsensical bitchy fights, then get rid of this fight between two very, very successful women who are both amazing in their own right.

Okay but whatever the fight is that. BUT IN THE END KARA COULDNT EVEN CHANGE HER NAME TO SUPERWOMAN!

Oh yes, then, after telling her would-be-boyfriend about her powers, she spends 50 seconds choosing an outfit.

And then, and then, AND THEN! After she tries to join an operation to save the world (or something along those lines) and she gets snubbed (exact lines: “go back to getting someone’s coffee”), she leaves RIGHT AWAY. And then she promptly starts having a pity fest for herself. Well, that’s what the trailer made it seem like anyways.

Jesus Christ Kara just woman up and pull off a Peggy Carter (who btw is forced to get coffee) and fight your way through the patriarchy and make all the world tremble in front of you and maybe, JUST MAYBE, Supergirl will live to see season 2.

And, finally, there are exactly 12 seconds of her ACTUALLY FIGHTING, which has perhaps the worst special effects and weakest punches I have ever seen in my entire life. Did DC waste all their special effects and stunt double resources on the Flash and Arrow or something, because their fight scenes are top of the notch movie-style, whereas Supergirl is kinda sorta stuck with DOCTOR WHO LEVEL SPECIAL EFFECTS.

And, of course, in the end, DC has to remind you that Superman is in fact, SUPERIOR to Supergirl, even providing his BABY blanket as her FREAKING CAPE (which also means that she’s OLDER THAN HIM AND SHOULD BE MORE POWERFUL BUT I GUESS NOT).

I’m going to watch some Agent Carter to cool down. GOOD BYE.

The Weekly Suggestion… #4?

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these amirite? Well, let’s begin.

Movie: The Lord of the Rings. No, I have not finished the books. YES, I AM AWARE THE BOOKS ARE GREAT. But watch the movies anyways. It’s a classic and LOTR > Hobbit any day (fight me).

TV Show: Agents of SHIELD. Apparently it’s going to be very related to the greater MCU. I’m only 10 minutes into it and SPOILER ALERT: PHIL COULSON IS ALIVE! Does anyone die in Marvel? Oh yeah. Captain America Civil War -_-

Book: Where’d You Go, Bernadette? It’s an epistolary, which means (for those of you who are not educated in the fine arts of English… or in my case, googling) it’s a novel written with a bunch of letters and documents. I mean, since it’s based in modern day there are emails and stuff. And there’s some non-letter narrative in there too. But whatever. IT’S FUNNY. READ IT.

Song: Flightless Bird, American Mouth. Even its use in the Twilight Saga will NEVER DETER MY LOVE FOR THE SONG! The lyrics make absolutely no sense… aka it’s great.

Oh yes, and if you haven’t seen Taylor Swift’s new music video, watch it here. I mean, it’s highly unlikely that you’re not one of the 24,000,000 views (I wonder what the probability is…), but it’s worth a rewatch anyways.

K BYE

Fresh Off the Boat: ASIAN REPRESENTATION

Grade: A-

This is the only comedy I make it my business to keep up to date on. As you guys probably know, I’m notoriously famous (not really) for disliking comedy.

You know Selfie? The last comedy show I reviewed? The last one I watched? Well yeah I forgot to watch the last episode and I’m too lazy to now because comedies.

I don’t even know why I dislike comedies so much. I think it might be because comedies never have story lines like dramas or whatever. They’re kind of just there to make you laugh for a bit.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I HATE LAUGHTER.

Jk. But I do dislike comedies.

Which is why you should probably watch this show, because it’s kind of impressive that I’ve kept up with it for such a lot time.

Or not because at the end of this review you’ll see that I have other reasons why I watch this show.

ANYHOW enough ranting on my part.

Fresh Off the Boat has an all Asian main cast, its racial casting being only the second of its kind. Other shows have tried to take similar strides forwards: Blackish, modern family (mixed races, LGBTQ representation), and of course who could forget disney’s dozens of TV shows featuring basic white families and no LGBTQ people for fear of enraging a group of terrifying mothers.

THE U.S. IS ALL ABOUT EQUALITY!

FOB is based off the memoir of Eddie Huang, a famous chef nowadays. Eddie (in the show) is an 11-year-old who defies the expectations of his family and his society. He doesn’t do particularly well in school, and his taste in music is completely different from the rest of his family. His mother, played by the flawless Constance Wu, is the definition of a tiger mom. His father, played by the ever famous Randall Park, is obsessed with trying to make it in America. Eddie also has two brothers (Evan and Emery), one of whom seems to be doing amazingly well with his social life, and the other one who’s kind of just there. Eddie also has a grandma, who is notorious for cheating people out of money (like, she’s amazing at poker).

Yep, your typical Chinese family.

But for those of you who think FOB sounds racist, trust me on this: it’s surprisingly accurate.

And now for the great reveal: I. Am. Chinese. *LE GASP*

Yeah okay I don’t think you guys were that surprised (or you guys probably don’t care) but whatever. And now you guys are probably like, “Oh, that’s why she likes the show so much.” To which I say: RACISM! But you guys are probably right.

Anyways, the show is pretty much on point about everything. It’s obviously exaggerated for comedy purposes, but other than that it’s very accurate. Tiger mom? Check. Non-Chinese culture responses to weird Chinese food like stinky tofu? Check. Constant need to appear more successful than family members? Check. Curling your hair to look successful? Yeah, check.

The show’s display of the awkward clash between Chinese and American culture makes a lot of laugh-out-loud-for-10-minutes-straight moments. It’s especially funny when Constance Wu delivers totally straight-faced lines in her hilariously fake Chinese accent, complaining about white culture or reminiscing about her old Chinese friends…

(Yeah okay I’m a bit obsessed with Constance Wu. I mean, she was in Law & Order: SVU and she was even in Torchwood and she has the cutest bunny in the world and UGH.)

ANYWAYS, FOB isn’t just about the quirks and the weirdness of Chinese culture in American culture: it’s also about trying to fit into another culture while continuing to be true to your original culture. It’s about how much of yourself you should or should not change in order to fit in. And I mean, who hasn’t been through that struggle?

To end this post (because I need to do other stuff now), I think it’s a bit unfortunate that it’s 2015 and FOB is still the “pioneer” of racially representative shows. I mean, I kind of hoped that it would be at least the 10th show to feature an all-Asian family, but no it is the second-but-first-successful-TV-show-to-feature-an-all-Asian-family-cast-thing.

And that means FOB has to be successful so there’ll be more shows like it. So whether you want to watch the show just for laughs or for relating or just because you need another show to binge watch, WATCH FRESH OFF THE BOAT!