Grace’s Views on Politics and the Current Presidential Campaign

Z- politics, A+ entertainment

I don’t care. I really don’t care. But as I have returned from the dead to write a blog post about this, apparently I do care.

i_give_too_many_f_s_dan_howell.gif

So it’s been a few months. How have you guys been? Has everything been going well? I’ve practically quit all my TV shows, but I have some ideas about to write. A few. Okay maybe I have no ideas and that’s precisely why I’m writing this blogpost.

A few disclaimers: I haven’t done this in a super long time, so I’ll need to get back into the groove of doing things. Aka writing sarcastic comments and finding relevant gifs. Considering that I’m a teenager though, it should be no problem.

tumblr_n35b7efTQS1trrasao1_500.gif

Anyways, the presidential campaign. America’s reality game show that airs every four years. Don’t think that it’s like a reality game show? Consider the fact that there are eliminations, judges (kind of a stretch, but the people who ask the questions), people drop out, and the people of America vote for their favorite candidate. Honestly it’s literally the recipe of a reality game show. Come on America. Don’t be sheep.

Just like every reality game show, there are archetypes and personalities that are just screaming out our faces. Here are archetypes for the presidential candidates. Bear in mind that I live in liberal New York City, so my viewpoints are a bit biased.

empire-state-of-mind-jpg.gif

ANYWAYS, BACK TO THE GOOD OLD LISTS 😀

1. The one that’s here to win. Hillary Clinton through and through. She’s been through this process already and she’s probably completely over losing. She’s here to beat the crap out of her contestants. But of course, there’s always the wild card. Or the underdog. Or the dark horse. Or the Bernie Sanders. Whatever you’d like to call that person.

2. The one that everyone loves to hate. Donald Trump. Obviously. And this guy that everyone loves to hate is the smartest guy. Why? Because he gets all the attention. This guy always makes it into the final round because he racks up viewership and makes things interesting. But how does this guy fare in the final round? Well, if he’s still acting like a completely douchebag at that time, the public will vote him out… I mean, the public won’t vote for him.

3. The dark horse. Bernie Sanders. This guy is so liberal and socialist and actually fights for people’s rights, so it’s no wonder that even though he’s the underdog, he’s still doing super well. You know what I live in New York.

4. The one that doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing. Jeb Bush. Have you seen his eyes?

5. The one that nobody knows exists. Martin O’Malley. And also half of the Republican candidates. Seriously, who are these people? John Kasich? Bobby Jindal? Mike Huckabee? Also I still have no idea who Marco Rubio is. Is he the replacement for the game Marco Polo? MARCO! RUBIO!

6. The one that decides to screw everything up. Thanks Bloomberg. First you left New York with that guy who dropped the groundhog in office (seriously, google Mayor DeBlasio drops groundhog), and now you’re messing with the presidential campaign? You simply KNOW that if you actually run you’re going to take votes away from the Democratic party with your independent-ness. I guess he’s in a New York state of mind. All lone wolf and stuff.

7. The one who always gets in second place. Ted Cruz. Although, he did do okay in Iowa. But no matter how much he wins, he will always be in second place. It’s like Yale. Yale has been better than Harvard, but everyone knows that it’s second place. Second place isn’t a position – it’s a way of life.

8. The one you thought you would like but actually turns out to be a giant douchebag. Ben Carson. ‘Nuff said.

So there you have it. You don’t have to watch this dumb reality TV show. But make sure you watch the final round, because before you know it, one of these idiots is going to be your next president!

I hate politics.

Doctor Who: The Magician’s Apprentice…?

I honestly don’t know what that title had to do with any of the episode. I mean, the Doctor doesn’t even have his Magician-ish outfit anymore. But, whatever.

In the wise words of Sherlock Holmes, it was “surprisingly okay.” In fact, I would go as far as to say it has entered the realm of A-range ratings, but as you can see I have abstained from grading this episode. Because honestly it’s probably all downhill from here.

tumblr_mp7srrppmj1r0vkm1o1_500

Nevertheless…

The Magician’s Apprentice is an episode filled with so many plot twists from the very beginning (actually like the first 5 minutes probably). It keeps you on the edge of your seat and the episode is actually exciting: there’s not really a point in it where there’s a giant collapse and disappointment (like the entirety of season 8). However, it’s so filled with plot twists that I can’t really explain anything without spoiling. So, I won’t spoil more than one thing, which you guys probably already know about anyway. This one thing is the very bestest thing in the entire episode, the one thing that will save Doctor Who, the one thing that will make Season 9 worth watching.

Yes, that one thing is Missy.

27320d10ca00d6fcfa18d7c2b42f8bc4

In a shocking turn of events, Missy is not dead. I’m sure we’re all so shocked at this because it is quite unlike Moffat to bring back dead characters. Rory, for example. One death and then he was gone.

Anyways, Doctor Who made the incredibly wise decision (I am not being sarcastic anymore) to bring back the Master. Or the Mistress, or Missy, whatever you prefer to call her… or him (there aren’t enough pronouns in the world). The greatest sadness we’ve had to bear is that although she appeared frequently in season 8, they were mainly cameo appearances.

The Magician’s Apprentice, however, has really brought the character into main status. She’s filled with the most amazing sarcastic comments and she’s basically one of the best characters I’ve ever seen in Doctor Who. Yes. She has made that exclusive favorite Doctor Who characters list (not including the Doctor). It now contains Missy, Jack Harkness, and Donna Noble. Now imagine all of them in one episode with River. The amount of flirting and sass that would happen.

tumblr_inline_mwo9aeJiNz1qiczkk

Ah, if only RTD’s Who was connected to Moffat’s Who with something other than the Doctor. Or the Master now. Or Oods. Or Weeping Angels. Or Daleks. Or Cybermen. Or other stuff. Okay I mean there should be a return of the companions. But I’m getting off topic.

Missy is a character that no one wanted but everyone needed. She’s un-ironically evil but still hangs out with the “good” characters. She has a personality but doesn’t feel remorse. She’s sassy and sarcastic but not in a I’m-doing-this-to-hide-my-emotions way. She doesn’t even really have a deep, dark secret or any remotely human-like feelings (you know, like the Master in RTD… or the Doctor), but you can’t call her one dimensional either. She’s just Missy: the arch-nemesis and best friend, unbothered by everything except for the absolute will to destroy and be besties with the Doctor at the same time.

Track_23_1

Basically, besides the fact that the episode was pretty exciting and everything, you should watch it because of Missy. Missy is love. Missy is life. OH MISSY YOU SO FINE YOU SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND. HEY MISSY.

OKAY BYE NOW! Stay tuned for Doctor Who tomorrow (and pray that it’s as good as this episode)

Weekly Update #1

This is not going to be a regular thing but considering that so much entertainment stuff happened this week both to me and to the fandom world(s) I have to make an update. Actually only three things happened. BUT ALL OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT… sort of. It’s also because I don’t have time to make a legitimate post.

ryxAyzVDQ8SMDKqt65fn_tumblr_mps9wwSKHB1qd1veuo1_500

First of all, Doctor Who season 9 began! I did not watch the pilot. I heard Maisie William is in it and that’s pretty much enough to convince me to watch it… during winter break.

Second of all, I finished Parks and Recreation! For those of you who have never been on tumblr (losers… who have lives), you probably know Parks and Rec as that one show that generates all those posts and stuff. But it’s so much more. Even though it’s a comedy I cried in the last episode. There will probably be a post about it coming up in the next week.

603

(Ron is literally my spirit animal)

Third, AKA JESSICA JONES PREMIERE ANNOUNCEMENT IS OUT BEEP BEEP BEEP CODE RED ALERT MARVEL FANDOM ARISE. There are also some photos you can probably find from Google (yes, David Tennant is in it for all of you who don’t know… for some reason a lot of people didn’t know). And here is the premiere announcement below (yes that IS an Of Monsters and Men Song).

NOVEMBER 20TH I’M SO EXCITED. It’s perfect. I want it to be the title sequence. But it’s also not very informative, as Marvel does it’s usual “it’s a teaser and you have to dig for easter eggs” crap. You can hear David Tennant saying “Jessica” four times if you listen carefully enough. But you know, as a professional at this I can extrapolate meaning from extensive wikipedia-ing of Marvel comics. And YouTube comments because those are actually very helpful sometimes. But most of the time it’s haters.

Anyways…

David Tennant is playing this character called the Purple Man (not the Purple Guy, as per Five Nights at Freddy’s… which probably no one knows or cares about), aka Dr. Killgrave. See what I did there with the AKA? Ignore me.

tumblr_n83ogdpJMg1tuiacso1_250

Purple Man happens to be able to control minds, and in the comic books he especially likes controlling Jessica’s mind, so basically the fact that David Tennant says “Jessica” four times means that HE WILL BE CONTROLLING JESSICA’S MIND. MIND CONTROL MADNESS.

Also Luke Cage is gonna make his first appearance (woot woot get ready for his show next year).

Okay all those obvious things aside (because I don’t want to figure out what the rest of the trailer means), this show looks like it’s going to be as dark and gritty or probably even darker and grittier than Daredevil. *Cue excitement*

giphy

Well that’s all the news from my life!

SEE YA!

Doctor, What is Your Catchphrase?

As a reminder that Doctor Who hiatus is more than halfway over (you can either scream in delight or terror based on how well you remember season 8), here’s a I-have-no-idea-what-to-post-this-week-post.

Many people have puzzled over the age long question, the second oldest question in the universe (after Doctor Who)…

What is the doctor’s catchphrase?

eleven_well_zpsd06a9390

Nine, Ten, and Eleven had pretty obvious ones. Who could forget the cheerful declaration “FANTASTIC”? Everyone remembers Ten’s declaration “ALLONS-Y” that caused French to be the language of love… that’s a lie by the way don’t go repeating that. And of course, Eleven’s phrase, which still rings fresh in our memory (because we miss his season dearly), “GERONIMO!”

When Twelve came along, one of the things I was most excited for was his catchphrase (that is, until season 8 became a huge bust and then I was excited for the monstrosity to end). As the season progressed, it became apparent that Twelve really didn’t have an obvious catchphrase.

Today, I will, once and for all, present the facts and you, the reader, can decide what Twelve’s catchphrase is.

There are several contenders.

There’s the fan favorite:

tumblr_nb5fmbQrt21rs63cio1_250

But twelve only says this phrase once, so unfortunately this cannot be his catchphrase. Yes I know, I want it to be his catchphrase as well.

There is of course,

tumblr_nc7ys4I1Aq1rnikqmo3_500

Also quite possibly, just “shut up.” Twelve tends to say this phrase a lot, and Moffat also “confirms” that this is twelve’s catchphrase. However, since Moffat is so bad at writing (what with all his plotholes and his terrible botching of Doctor Who season 8), coupled the fact that he hasn’t made Johnlock canon yet, we can pretty much ignore everything he’s saying.

“Shut up,” however, remains a pretty compelling catchphrase. The Doctor also says “shut up” an incredible 21 times. But did “shut up” stand out to us like the other catchphrases of the Doctor? No. I hardly noticed Twelve saying “shut up” once (except for that one instance up above).

Therefore ignore Moffat.

tumblr_inline_mq27sppJvR1qz4rgp

And now, you’re probably saying, “But Grace, there are literally no choices left!” Well, let me present to you these statistics.

Twelve has said “shut up” a total of 21 times.

But there is something that Twelve has said 110 times.

That’s right folks, Twelve has uttered a single phrase 110 times.

What’s this phrase you might ask?

CLARA.

tumblr_mn0ejaOBdM1r0lc86o1_250

However, Clara is a pretty bad catchphrase (no offense Clara). Although it cannot be denied that “Clara” has been said the most, it’s also true that Nine and Ten both said “Rose” a lot, while Eleven had a plethora of things he called his companions (i.e. impossible girl, soufflé girl, pond, etc).

At this point though, a lot of people have accepted “Clara” to be Twelve’s catchphrase. Let me present this comic:

IMG_8125

Amusing? Yes I think so too.

You’ve been given the facts America… I mean world. NOW DECIDE.

Daredevil: A Catholic Lawyer Vigilante… :)

Grade: A+++++

daredevil-poster

Isn’t it gorgeous.

54944f9c48de990f76761d39_korra-spoilers

Huzzah! It’s Marvel’s newest Netflix original series, which was completely overshadowed by Age of Ultron (which I can’t see until next week URGGGH) even though it came out on April 10th.

This show is probably totally overrated but I don’t really care because IT’S NOT OVERRATED TO ME!

anigif_enhanced-buzz-5330-1366916930-9

Contrary to the belief of imdb, Daredevil is not in fact about the Flash, but it’s actually about Daredevil! I know, I’m sure you guys are shocked to learn this piece of news, but The Flash tells the story of the Flash.

And for you disbelievers out there about the IMDB falsehood, let me present to you, figure 1:

 Screen Shot 2015-04-29 at 7.35.19 PM

But enough about the discrepancies of the internet these days. It’s time for the review!

Daredevil takes place in Hells Kitchen, aka very close to the place where the Avengers demolished everything. It tells the story of a lawyer named Matt Murdock. A very, very hot lawyer, who also happens to be VERY shirtless a lot of the time. While a lawyer by day, he’s a vigilante by night, going around and fighting crime in a black mask. Eventually, Matt discovers that the majority of crime seems to be centered around a certain group of people, who all seem to be following a single person whose name I cannot mention because then the entire series will be spoiled.

Fine, it’s Kingpin. But they don’t actually refer to the character as Kingpin in the series so I get a pass.

tumblr_inline_nimccgSsMk1rt3bgs-2-1

Matt also happens to be a devout Catholic, which is quite the struggle considering he beats up people every night. Anyhow, his Catholicism causes him to grapple with what’s right and what’s wrong – how far would he be willing to go to keep his city safe?

Surprisingly, the villain gets quite a bit of fleshing-out as well. Kingpin gets almost as much as a childhood backstory as Matt himself does. He also gets a gorgeous and loyal wife  whom he loves dearly. His intentions for the city are… uh… the same as Matt’s (A+ intentions, D execution)? And… uh… you start feeling bad for the dude.

Cryinggifs_02

The directors or writers or whatever said that the show would “blur the line between good and evil.” WELL, THEY WEREN’T LYING.

In fact, most of the characters get their own complicated stories, which weave and intertwine with other characters’ stories. Karen Page, Matt’s assistant in his law firm, goes out hunting the truth by herself. Foggy Nelson, Matt’s partner, cleverly manages to wheedle information out of his ex-girlfriend (ikr how r00d).

Playa

And now for TOP 5 REASONS WHY YOU MUST WATCH DAREDEVIL.

1) The premise of the show is extremely dark and gritty… literally. I mean, it’s so dark sometimes that you can’t even see what’s happening (you’ve just got to turn your brightness all the way up). It’s like Marvel’s preparing to mourn for Captain America’s impending death. At least the darkness makes the show seem more realistic and epic anyways. As for the grittiness… well, it’s about as bloody as you can get outside of the land known as HBO.

2) The fight scenes and stunt scenes are insanely good… and there are a lot of them. It’s like Captain America: Winter Soldier elevator and highway fight scene level… well at least close to it (nothing can beat Captain America: Winter Soldier). For those of you who don’t speak Marvel Cinematic Universe, allow me to present to you, figure 2:

capgif2.gif

That, my friends, is the highway fight scene.

3) Strategies and corruption. Like, the amount of people Kingpin has paid off to represent him is insane: policemen, media peoples, judges, even senators. He’s able to twist people’s public images and dispose of anyone who might reveal him. Gives you an insight to how much power rich people have, eh?

4) An excellent buildup for the next season. Season 1 was insane, but it also left dozens of opportunities for the next few seasons. Meaning, either Marvel will screw it up completely because there are way too many things to do, or, knowing Marvel’s excellent track record in the last 7 or so years, Marvel will make it TOTALLY AWESOME!

tumblr_m5czl7txAj1qhat7v

5) Crossovers with other Marvel Netflix shows and connections to the greater Marvel Comic Universe. Which, if you’re a die-hard Marvel or just MCU fan, should excite you just as much as it excited me. First of all, there are 4 other superhero shows coming along on Netflix: AKA Jessica Jones (which stars David Tennant), Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and The Defenders. The Defenders is a team-up of the aforementioned superheroes plus Daredevil. Yes, I was brought to tears of joy when I found that out. NO YOU CANNOT JUDGE ME.

And of course, most importantly, Daredevil is canon to the greater MCU universe. For those of you who do not speak fandom, canon means that it actually connects to everything (which could potentially lead to crossovers). I will now present to you, figure 3:

IMG_4694

Taken straight from episode 12.

I’m dead. Bye now.

i'm dead

Why (the Rest of) This Year is Going to be TOTALLY AWESOME

It’s been half a year or something and I still don’t know how to properly capitalize the titles to posts.

Well. Anyways. HI! I’m here procrastinating right now and attempting to watch Star Wars for about the 10th time (I WILL DO IT THIS TIME). And that means that this post will probably make very little sense.

anigif_7029163e76deeb2ebaa73f67925c7329-11

However, as you can see from the title, the boringness that has been this year’s entertainment is almost over. I mean Supernatural and the Flash did sustain me somewhat. Also the attempt to catch up on Game of Thrones before season 5 started (I failed miserably). And yeah, yeah we’ve had Cinderella I guess. And Insurgent. And Kingsman I suppose. But none of that even compares to the total epicness that will be the next 2/3rds of 2015.

And now, I present to you: A HIGHLY BIASED LIST OF THE TOP 10 THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO HAPPEN (or are currently happening), which should probably be retitled as THE TOP 10 THINGS THAT I’M MOST EXCITED ABOUT FOR THE REST OF THIS YEAR.

tumblr_m5czl7txAj1qhat7v

10) Jurassic World – This is basically on my list only because I needed a #10. The special effects look kind of bad. Other stuff that could’ve replaced this movie include: Inside Out, Terminator Genisys, Pitch Perfect 2, Tomorrowland, and Pan.

9) Game of Thrones Season 5 – Okay I’ll explain: this is only #9 because it’s already happening. And if you’re a real fan, you’re probably already watching it. If you’re a fake fan like me you’ll still be stuck on season 3 (whoops).

8) Doctor Who Season 9 – I’m not actually sure if you should be excited about this or not. If it’s any bit as bad as the last season you might have to pull an Oedipus and gouge your eyes out. DON’T MARRY YOUR MOTHER THOUGH.

Please_no

7) Paper Towns – I really liked the book, but I’m kind of skeptical about the movie because how on earth is the movie going to capture the thoughts running through Q’s head all the time. Also John Green doesn’t seem as excited for it as he did for TFIOS. But still – I’m pumped.

6) Ant-Man – Well after Marvel trolled us for about half a year we finally got a semi-decent trailer. And, to be honest, it looks okay. It seems like a very light-hearted and funny film… which means that Age of Ultron is going to break our souls and Ant-Man is going to try to heal us (but that’ll never work).

NKJULll

5) Fantastic Four – As if we needed another non-canon Marvel film. But anyways, REBOOTS FOR THE WIN! And apparently these guys needed it because their original movie sucked. Also please stop freaking about the fact that the Human Torch is black because I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE ISSUE HERE.

4) Mockingjay Part 2 – I may have forgotten about this movie but let me tell you I am ready. I am so ready for the trailer. Give me a trailer. Or a teaser. Or even just a poster. JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING.

give_it_to_me_stephen_colbert

3) Star Wars: Episode VII – After 30 years of waiting since the first trilogy for the old characters to return, 10 years of waiting since the second trilogy for Star Wars to Return, and one close plane crash of Han Solo who really should be adept with aircrafts at this point (too soon? nah he’s alive), the years of waiting have come to an end. For all you Star Warsians (what do the fans name themselves?) out there, if the trailer made me freak out then I can’t imagine how excited you guys must be.

2) Sherlock Christmas Special – After 2 long years of dedicated waiting (Star Wars fans ain’t got nothing against us), the time has finally come for us to break tumblr again. If you’re new to this fandom, you may not know that we broke tumblr in 2013. Well, we did. And there’s more of us now. So…

tumblr_lyrozjfxtP1qgmge6o1_250

1) Avengers: Age of Ultron – If you’ve stuck around with me since I’ve had this blog, you probably predicted that this was #1. To which I say HEY I’M NOT THAT PREDICTABLE. But anyways, get yourselves ready because by the looks of all 100 trailers and all 100 infuriating teaser clips, this movie’s going to be AWESOME! Also heartbreaking. Very heartbreaking. TOO HEARTBREAKING 😦

NOW GO FORTH AND MARK YOUR CALENDARS!

Fresh Off the Boat: ASIAN REPRESENTATION

Grade: A-

Fresh_Off_the_Boat_intertitle

This is the only comedy I make it my business to keep up to date on. As you guys probably know, I’m notoriously famous (not really) for disliking comedy.

You know Selfie? The last comedy show I reviewed? The last one I watched? Well yeah I forgot to watch the last episode and I’m too lazy to now because comedies.

I don’t even know why I dislike comedies so much. I think it might be because comedies never have story lines like dramas or whatever. They’re kind of just there to make you laugh for a bit.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I HATE LAUGHTER.

haha-shut-up

Jk. But I do dislike comedies.

Which is why you should probably watch this show, because it’s kind of impressive that I’ve kept up with it for such a lot time.

Or not because at the end of this review you’ll see that I have other reasons why I watch this show.

ANYHOW enough ranting on my part.

Fresh Off the Boat has an all Asian main cast, its racial casting being only the second of its kind. Other shows have tried to take similar strides forwards: Blackish, modern family (mixed races, LGBTQ representation), and of course who could forget disney’s dozens of TV shows featuring basic white families and no LGBTQ people for fear of enraging a group of terrifying mothers.

post-60477-white-people-am-I-right-gif-im-srTE

THE U.S. IS ALL ABOUT EQUALITY!

FOB is based off the memoir of Eddie Huang, a famous chef nowadays. Eddie (in the show) is an 11-year-old who defies the expectations of his family and his society. He doesn’t do particularly well in school, and his taste in music is completely different from the rest of his family. His mother, played by the flawless Constance Wu, is the definition of a tiger mom. His father, played by the ever famous Randall Park, is obsessed with trying to make it in America. Eddie also has two brothers (Evan and Emery), one of whom seems to be doing amazingly well with his social life, and the other one who’s kind of just there. Eddie also has a grandma, who is notorious for cheating people out of money (like, she’s amazing at poker).

Yep, your typical Chinese family.

But for those of you who think FOB sounds racist, trust me on this: it’s surprisingly accurate.

And now for the great reveal: I. Am. Chinese. *LE GASP*

Shocked-1

shocked

Yeah okay I don’t think you guys were that surprised (or you guys probably don’t care) but whatever. And now you guys are probably like, “Oh, that’s why she likes the show so much.” To which I say: RACISM! But you guys are probably right.

Anyways, the show is pretty much on point about everything. It’s obviously exaggerated for comedy purposes, but other than that it’s very accurate. Tiger mom? Check. Non-Chinese culture responses to weird Chinese food like stinky tofu? Check. Constant need to appear more successful than family members? Check. Curling your hair to look successful? Yeah, check.

Yup

The show’s display of the awkward clash between Chinese and American culture makes a lot of laugh-out-loud-for-10-minutes-straight moments. It’s especially funny when Constance Wu delivers totally straight-faced lines in her hilariously fake Chinese accent, complaining about white culture or reminiscing about her old Chinese friends…

(Yeah okay I’m a bit obsessed with Constance Wu. I mean, she was in Law & Order: SVU and she was even in Torchwood and she has the cutest bunny in the world and UGH.)

ANYWAYS, FOB isn’t just about the quirks and the weirdness of Chinese culture in American culture: it’s also about trying to fit into another culture while continuing to be true to your original culture. It’s about how much of yourself you should or should not change in order to fit in. And I mean, who hasn’t been through that struggle?

wereallinthistogether_zpsfe029b7a

To end this post (because I need to do other stuff now), I think it’s a bit unfortunate that it’s 2015 and FOB is still the “pioneer” of racially representative shows. I mean, I kind of hoped that it would be at least the 10th show to feature an all-Asian family, but no it is the second-but-first-successful-TV-show-to-feature-an-all-Asian-family-cast-thing.

And that means FOB has to be successful so there’ll be more shows like it. So whether you want to watch the show just for laughs or for relating or just because you need another show to binge watch, WATCH FRESH OFF THE BOAT!

anigif_enhanced-buzz-19620-1366913642-0