Doctor Who: The Magician’s Apprentice…?

I honestly don’t know what that title had to do with any of the episode. I mean, the Doctor doesn’t even have his Magician-ish outfit anymore. But, whatever.

In the wise words of Sherlock Holmes, it was “surprisingly okay.” In fact, I would go as far as to say it has entered the realm of A-range ratings, but as you can see I have abstained from grading this episode. Because honestly it’s probably all downhill from here.



The Magician’s Apprentice is an episode filled with so many plot twists from the very beginning (actually like the first 5 minutes probably). It keeps you on the edge of your seat and the episode is actually exciting: there’s not really a point in it where there’s a giant collapse and disappointment (like the entirety of season 8). However, it’s so filled with plot twists that I can’t really explain anything without spoiling. So, I won’t spoil more than one thing, which you guys probably already know about anyway. This one thing is the very bestest thing in the entire episode, the one thing that will save Doctor Who, the one thing that will make Season 9 worth watching.

Yes, that one thing is Missy.


In a shocking turn of events, Missy is not dead. I’m sure we’re all so shocked at this because it is quite unlike Moffat to bring back dead characters. Rory, for example. One death and then he was gone.

Anyways, Doctor Who made the incredibly wise decision (I am not being sarcastic anymore) to bring back the Master. Or the Mistress, or Missy, whatever you prefer to call her… or him (there aren’t enough pronouns in the world). The greatest sadness we’ve had to bear is that although she appeared frequently in season 8, they were mainly cameo appearances.

The Magician’s Apprentice, however, has really brought the character into main status. She’s filled with the most amazing sarcastic comments and she’s basically one of the best characters I’ve ever seen in Doctor Who. Yes. She has made that exclusive favorite Doctor Who characters list (not including the Doctor). It now contains Missy, Jack Harkness, and Donna Noble. Now imagine all of them in one episode with River. The amount of flirting and sass that would happen.


Ah, if only RTD’s Who was connected to Moffat’s Who with something other than the Doctor. Or the Master now. Or Oods. Or Weeping Angels. Or Daleks. Or Cybermen. Or other stuff. Okay I mean there should be a return of the companions. But I’m getting off topic.

Missy is a character that no one wanted but everyone needed. She’s un-ironically evil but still hangs out with the “good” characters. She has a personality but doesn’t feel remorse. She’s sassy and sarcastic but not in a I’m-doing-this-to-hide-my-emotions way. She doesn’t even really have a deep, dark secret or any remotely human-like feelings (you know, like the Master in RTD… or the Doctor), but you can’t call her one dimensional either. She’s just Missy: the arch-nemesis and best friend, unbothered by everything except for the absolute will to destroy and be besties with the Doctor at the same time.


Basically, besides the fact that the episode was pretty exciting and everything, you should watch it because of Missy. Missy is love. Missy is life. OH MISSY YOU SO FINE YOU SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND. HEY MISSY.

OKAY BYE NOW! Stay tuned for Doctor Who tomorrow (and pray that it’s as good as this episode)


Doctor, What is Your Catchphrase?

As a reminder that Doctor Who hiatus is more than halfway over (you can either scream in delight or terror based on how well you remember season 8), here’s a I-have-no-idea-what-to-post-this-week-post.

Many people have puzzled over the age long question, the second oldest question in the universe (after Doctor Who)…

What is the doctor’s catchphrase?


Nine, Ten, and Eleven had pretty obvious ones. Who could forget the cheerful declaration “FANTASTIC”? Everyone remembers Ten’s declaration “ALLONS-Y” that caused French to be the language of love… that’s a lie by the way don’t go repeating that. And of course, Eleven’s phrase, which still rings fresh in our memory (because we miss his season dearly), “GERONIMO!”

When Twelve came along, one of the things I was most excited for was his catchphrase (that is, until season 8 became a huge bust and then I was excited for the monstrosity to end). As the season progressed, it became apparent that Twelve really didn’t have an obvious catchphrase.

Today, I will, once and for all, present the facts and you, the reader, can decide what Twelve’s catchphrase is.

There are several contenders.

There’s the fan favorite:


But twelve only says this phrase once, so unfortunately this cannot be his catchphrase. Yes I know, I want it to be his catchphrase as well.

There is of course,


Also quite possibly, just “shut up.” Twelve tends to say this phrase a lot, and Moffat also “confirms” that this is twelve’s catchphrase. However, since Moffat is so bad at writing (what with all his plotholes and his terrible botching of Doctor Who season 8), coupled the fact that he hasn’t made Johnlock canon yet, we can pretty much ignore everything he’s saying.

“Shut up,” however, remains a pretty compelling catchphrase. The Doctor also says “shut up” an incredible 21 times. But did “shut up” stand out to us like the other catchphrases of the Doctor? No. I hardly noticed Twelve saying “shut up” once (except for that one instance up above).

Therefore ignore Moffat.


And now, you’re probably saying, “But Grace, there are literally no choices left!” Well, let me present to you these statistics.

Twelve has said “shut up” a total of 21 times.

But there is something that Twelve has said 110 times.

That’s right folks, Twelve has uttered a single phrase 110 times.

What’s this phrase you might ask?



However, Clara is a pretty bad catchphrase (no offense Clara). Although it cannot be denied that “Clara” has been said the most, it’s also true that Nine and Ten both said “Rose” a lot, while Eleven had a plethora of things he called his companions (i.e. impossible girl, soufflé girl, pond, etc).

At this point though, a lot of people have accepted “Clara” to be Twelve’s catchphrase. Let me present this comic:


Amusing? Yes I think so too.

You’ve been given the facts America… I mean world. NOW DECIDE.

Doctor Who Christmas Special: Last Christmas, aka Inception

Grade: B+


This post contains spoilers if you actually care about Doctor Who not getting spoiled and haven’t watched the episode, or if you don’t own a tumblr.


I think I’ve made it pretty obvious that I pretty much hate Doctor Who now, but in terms of the Christmas special, it was, as Sherlock puts it, “surprisingly okay.”

I actually find Sherlock’s eyeball tea to be a pretty good metaphor, with Moffat burning your eyeballs out with his sappy story lines and whatnot and then drowning you in hot tea while he smirks from the sidelines and stabs more plot holes into his already failing scripts.

But enough of that.

Last Christmas starts off with Clara finding Santa on her rooftop (with some snotty elves and several horrible CGI reindeer), who’s crashing arrival is immediately followed by the Doctor’s arrival. Then, Clara and the Doctor go off to some mysterious base at the North Pole, where they meet up with a team of research scientists who apparently know nothing of what they’re doing. I mean who understands science nowadays anyways.


The group of scientists consists of four people (well eight, but that’s a story for another time… aka you should watch the episode if you haven’t already done so). First, an old grandma lady who doesn’t seem to do much. Second, an outspoken, short-haired girl who’s obviously there for comic relief. Third, a bossy young lady who’s pretty much cut out to be president (or prime minister in this case I suppose). And finally, an older, constantly hungry, very pervy old man, who apparently acts sexually towards the short-haired girl, but Moffat conveniently glosses over that moment.

eating cookies avoiding confrontation

Anyways, the Doctor discovers the existence of these creatures called “dream crabs,” which basically suck themselves onto your face and induce very real dreams. Basically, the Doctor Who Christmas special is based around the idea of dreaming, and of dreams within dreams. You’re dreaming. I’m dreaming. I’m waking up from a dream but I’m still dreaming.


Christopher Nolan called. He wants his story back.

Honestly, the premise of Last Christmas is incredibly similar to Inception. They’re both based off of dreams within other dreams. In both, dream time is much faster than real time. I actually think they used the same figures: 5 minutes in the real world is an hour in the dream world. In the end of both stories, you’re still not 100% sure if the characters are in the dream or not (seriously if you think that the tangerine on Clara’s windowsill doesn’t mean Santa, you’re fooling yourself).

The only real difference between the two stories is that in Inception, the characters are racing against the clock to get deeper into the dream, whereas in Last Christmas, the characters are racing to get out of the dream. Oh yeah, also Inception is way better than Last Christmas.

However, the similarity between Last Christmas and Inception isn’t the only thing that could downgrade this Christmas special to a B+.

First of all, there were plot holes and unanswered plot questions, as in all Moffat-related things. The biggest question in my case was what happened to all those scientists? After Clara and the Doctor woke up the last time, Moffat conveniently decided to ignore the three scientists. Were they figments of Clara and the Doctor’s dreams? Were they still dreaming? We may never know

There is also, of course, Moffat giving more signals to drive away kids.


I mean, after Dark Water and Death In Heaven, it’s a miracle that kids continue to watch Doctor Who. Nevertheless, Moffat commits the greatest crime of all towards children with Last Christmas.


According to Last Christmas, Santa only exists in the dream world, and he’s a ridiculous construct from our minds. Well, Moffat, I’m sorry that your parents probably spilled the beans to you when you were but a wee lad, but just because your childhood sucked, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to ruin it for the thousands of children who excitedly crowded around the TV to watch your terrible episode.

What happened to all the happy sappy doctors? Eleven himself probably believed in Santa. And now, here we are, with Doctor Who perpetrating that Santa doesn’t exist. What has the world come to?


However, despite all these complaints, there must be some good in the show for me to award it a B+, instead of the customary C+ that I reserve solely for Moffat Who.

Yes, Last Christmas had a pretty dark and depressing twist (which was clearly not meant for young children) that appealed to me. Before you tell me I’m going through my scene phase, 1) I have no idea what a scene phase is and 2) I’m well aware I’m going through a scene phase since the other day I decorated a gingerbread house with a couple of my friends and it ended up looking more like a sacrifice to satan.

The story line, although copied, was compelling nevertheless (I mean I loved Inception, so I was bound to at least like this episode).

And finally, Moffat was ultimately once again able to toy with my emotions.


I probably started crying around the part where Danny Pink appeared in Clara’s dream. This part:


And then Danny trying to make Clara live a happy life and stop thinking about him. And then the penultimate scene where old Clara celebrates Christmas with the Doctor, and it’s like the last Christmas with Clara and Eleven… I was just bawling my eyes out. It kind of reminded me of




All at the same time.

If you recognize all three screencaps, then props to you. If not, then you clearly need to delve into the fandom world more.

In comparison to other Doctor Who Christmas specials, this one isn’t the worst, but it isn’t the greatest. It places somewhere around the middle for me (probably around 5th or 6th). Twelve still has a long way to go though, and probably many more Christmas specials to be in (well, at least I hope he has many more Christmas specials at any rate).

If the gods bless us (and if Moffat decides to retire) in 2015, Doctor Who will be significantly better than it was towards the end of 2014. To a new year, a new doctor, and (hopefully) a better season of Doctor Who.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!