Doctor Who: The Magician’s Apprentice…?

I honestly don’t know what that title had to do with any of the episode. I mean, the Doctor doesn’t even have his Magician-ish outfit anymore. But, whatever.

In the wise words of Sherlock Holmes, it was “surprisingly okay.” In fact, I would go as far as to say it has entered the realm of A-range ratings, but as you can see I have abstained from grading this episode. Because honestly it’s probably all downhill from here.

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Nevertheless…

The Magician’s Apprentice is an episode filled with so many plot twists from the very beginning (actually like the first 5 minutes probably). It keeps you on the edge of your seat and the episode is actually exciting: there’s not really a point in it where there’s a giant collapse and disappointment (like the entirety of season 8). However, it’s so filled with plot twists that I can’t really explain anything without spoiling. So, I won’t spoil more than one thing, which you guys probably already know about anyway. This one thing is the very bestest thing in the entire episode, the one thing that will save Doctor Who, the one thing that will make Season 9 worth watching.

Yes, that one thing is Missy.

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In a shocking turn of events, Missy is not dead. I’m sure we’re all so shocked at this because it is quite unlike Moffat to bring back dead characters. Rory, for example. One death and then he was gone.

Anyways, Doctor Who made the incredibly wise decision (I am not being sarcastic anymore) to bring back the Master. Or the Mistress, or Missy, whatever you prefer to call her… or him (there aren’t enough pronouns in the world). The greatest sadness we’ve had to bear is that although she appeared frequently in season 8, they were mainly cameo appearances.

The Magician’s Apprentice, however, has really brought the character into main status. She’s filled with the most amazing sarcastic comments and she’s basically one of the best characters I’ve ever seen in Doctor Who. Yes. She has made that exclusive favorite Doctor Who characters list (not including the Doctor). It now contains Missy, Jack Harkness, and Donna Noble. Now imagine all of them in one episode with River. The amount of flirting and sass that would happen.

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Ah, if only RTD’s Who was connected to Moffat’s Who with something other than the Doctor. Or the Master now. Or Oods. Or Weeping Angels. Or Daleks. Or Cybermen. Or other stuff. Okay I mean there should be a return of the companions. But I’m getting off topic.

Missy is a character that no one wanted but everyone needed. She’s un-ironically evil but still hangs out with the “good” characters. She has a personality but doesn’t feel remorse. She’s sassy and sarcastic but not in a I’m-doing-this-to-hide-my-emotions way. She doesn’t even really have a deep, dark secret or any remotely human-like feelings (you know, like the Master in RTD… or the Doctor), but you can’t call her one dimensional either. She’s just Missy: the arch-nemesis and best friend, unbothered by everything except for the absolute will to destroy and be besties with the Doctor at the same time.

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Basically, besides the fact that the episode was pretty exciting and everything, you should watch it because of Missy. Missy is love. Missy is life. OH MISSY YOU SO FINE YOU SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND. HEY MISSY.

OKAY BYE NOW! Stay tuned for Doctor Who tomorrow (and pray that it’s as good as this episode)

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Emmys! Emmys!

As you guys probably know, the Emmys were on TV yesterday. Unfortunately, I did not realize this so I procrastinated all my HW until 6:00pm, effectively being unable to watch while CNN kept informing me that OMG LOOK WHO WON AAAHHH. You know, instead of reporting on important things like Donald Trump.

(I’m being sarcastic.)

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Also, I didn’t really care about the Emmys. You might be like: OMG how can you not care about the Emmys. WELL I don’t have a good answer. It’s probably because my favorite TV shows never show up on the Emmys (with the exceptions of Sherlock, Parks and Recreation, and Game of Thrones). However, since I run this type of entertainment blog, I feel morally obligated to tell you about my opinions on the Emmys. There aren’t many because I literally have no idea what happened.

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1) I can’t get over how Daredevil was snubbed from the Emmys. I mean, sure, it’s only been around for a year. But once upon a time Jane the Virgin was out for a year and it got nominated and WON an Emmy. Maybe several? I don’t quite remember. Anyways, Daredevil deserved to get nominated.

2) Parks and Rec DESERVED that Best Comedy award. I have not seen Veep, but PARKS AND REC DESERVED THAT BEST COMEDY AWARD. Again, review coming sometime soon.

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3) Emilia Clarke (aka Daenerys Targaryen aka QUEEN) is not a supporting actress. She WILL CLAIM THE IRON THRONE AND DESTROY ALL SEXISM FOREVER. And Peter Dinklage (aka Tyrion I-Always-Pay-My-Debts Lannister) is not a supporting actor (although yay for the Emmy). Because if they’re supporting actors, then who’s the main character of Game of Thrones? Jon Snow? Arya? Sansa? Stannis? … CERSEI?

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4) YAY FOR GAME OF THRONES! I knew it would win. There is some justice is the world (when we make it). There just isn’t anything that comes close to this show. The show EMBODIES entertainment; that is to say, at its core it’s literally just war, sex, and politics.

And that’s all that I know of that happened at the Emmys. Overall… I have no idea what happened. So I don’t have an opinion of the show. I hope you guys enjoyed it though! You can comment your favorite part of the show if you’d like.

See ya!

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Weekly Update #1

This is not going to be a regular thing but considering that so much entertainment stuff happened this week both to me and to the fandom world(s) I have to make an update. Actually only three things happened. BUT ALL OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT… sort of. It’s also because I don’t have time to make a legitimate post.

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First of all, Doctor Who season 9 began! I did not watch the pilot. I heard Maisie William is in it and that’s pretty much enough to convince me to watch it… during winter break.

Second of all, I finished Parks and Recreation! For those of you who have never been on tumblr (losers… who have lives), you probably know Parks and Rec as that one show that generates all those posts and stuff. But it’s so much more. Even though it’s a comedy I cried in the last episode. There will probably be a post about it coming up in the next week.

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(Ron is literally my spirit animal)

Third, AKA JESSICA JONES PREMIERE ANNOUNCEMENT IS OUT BEEP BEEP BEEP CODE RED ALERT MARVEL FANDOM ARISE. There are also some photos you can probably find from Google (yes, David Tennant is in it for all of you who don’t know… for some reason a lot of people didn’t know). And here is the premiere announcement below (yes that IS an Of Monsters and Men Song).

NOVEMBER 20TH I’M SO EXCITED. It’s perfect. I want it to be the title sequence. But it’s also not very informative, as Marvel does it’s usual “it’s a teaser and you have to dig for easter eggs” crap. You can hear David Tennant saying “Jessica” four times if you listen carefully enough. But you know, as a professional at this I can extrapolate meaning from extensive wikipedia-ing of Marvel comics. And YouTube comments because those are actually very helpful sometimes. But most of the time it’s haters.

Anyways…

David Tennant is playing this character called the Purple Man (not the Purple Guy, as per Five Nights at Freddy’s… which probably no one knows or cares about), aka Dr. Killgrave. See what I did there with the AKA? Ignore me.

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Purple Man happens to be able to control minds, and in the comic books he especially likes controlling Jessica’s mind, so basically the fact that David Tennant says “Jessica” four times means that HE WILL BE CONTROLLING JESSICA’S MIND. MIND CONTROL MADNESS.

Also Luke Cage is gonna make his first appearance (woot woot get ready for his show next year).

Okay all those obvious things aside (because I don’t want to figure out what the rest of the trailer means), this show looks like it’s going to be as dark and gritty or probably even darker and grittier than Daredevil. *Cue excitement*

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Well that’s all the news from my life!

SEE YA!

All the Light We Cannot See, Or (All the Time I Spent Crying Last Month)

Grade: grades can’t express how many feels this book gave me. Okay fine. A+. +. +. +. +. ++++++++. +.

All the Light We Cannot See (5/6/14) by Anthony Doerr

All the Light We Cannot See is a Pulitzer Prize winning book, the third one I have (attempted) to read. Small mistakes beside (that’s the editor’s job so), it’s one of the best books I’ve ever read. And I don’t if anyone says otherwise I think it’s a masterpiece.

I haven’t read a book like this in a while. A super haunting, touching, FEELS-Y book. A book that kept me up all night and made me neglect my other work so I could just read just a sentence more (which turned into chapter, which turned into section). I was up until 1am most nights frantically flipping pages while calculating the time I had left to sleep. And then after I finished, the book just stayed with me, the lines (especially the horrific ones) repeating in my head. Basically what I’m saying is that do not read this book if you have something important to do in the next month (or possibly year) because you will regret your life choices.

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The book follows two main characters: a girl named Marie-Laure and a boy named Werner. It’s set in WWII and spans the time immediately before the war, the time during the war, the aftermath, and even (maybe spoiler?) reaching to 2014.

Marie-Laure is French (of course, her name is the most typical French name I’ve ever heard). She’s also blind, which makes her chapters 10 times more beautiful since she imagines the world and feels her way through it and notices everything. Her story begins in Paris, and then goes to Saint-Malo, where she flees with her father and lives with her uncle, all the while carrying a stone called the Sea of Flames, an incredibly valuable and incredibly made up diamond.

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Werner is a genius albino orphan German boy. He joins the Hitler youth and builds transmitters to aid in the effort of the war. Through the book he becomes more and more aware of the death and destruction he’s in the midst of. He gets sent to the front and eventually ends up in Saint-Malo, where he meets Marie-Laure.

The story lines are beautiful, intertwining in sometimes obvious and sometimes surprising ways. But the style of the writing: OH MY GOD. I’ve never wanted to write more like anyone else.

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I’m now going to launch into one of my epic metaphors / similes. I have come up with several that I think should go down in quote books. Jk they suck.

Most authors write as if they’re taking a photograph: the focus is on the main characters and everything is blurred in the background. Sometimes characters lack a certain depth and the quality of the photograph seems empty.

Anthony Doerr writes as if he’s painting. Every detail is masterfully included, and with each brush stroke he adds another tiny object to the painting: a lamp, a shell, a car. But although he puts tremendous effort into his tiny details, still his entire painting is harmonious and congruous. The quality of his painting never fails. I’ve never read a book where I can picture the scenes as well as I could in this one. And the characters are constructed beautifully as well (I have a very strong mental image of what Marie-Laure looks like and if anyone tries to tamper with that we will have problems).

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(I think I’ll refrain from gif usage for the rest of this post because it’d be weird… sorry y’all)

Sometimes, Doerr drifts off into epic descriptions of sceneries or background information. Sometimes he’ll explain where every single character in the book is at the moment, from Werner to his sister to Marie-Laure to her father to her uncle to… yeah, everyone. Sometimes he’ll launch into some beautifully constructed memory that flashes between scenes of the past and scenes of current events. And once he even went into a what-could-have been situation that I can’t even speak of because it just makes me so sad.

And of course I can’t neglect to talk about the title, which is probably the best title in relation with the contents of the book since To Kill a Mockingbird (which, incidentally, is also one of my favorite books). Doerr plays around with the idea of light a lot. The different types of light, especially visible light and radio waves.

Radios play a huge role in the entire book. Werner builds them and loves them and understands how they work. Marie-Laure’s uncle has a huge transmitter in his attic that becomes key to the core of the story. Radios, literally, are the light we cannot see. And of course, there is visible light; especially that of moonlight or no light. There are quite a few descriptions about the sky and the light streaking across the clouds. Additionally, Marie-Laure is blind, but she seems better at picturing the world than the rest of us are. She can imagine all the different types of light.

And (SPOILER, HUGE SPOILER TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW), there’s also the dead and the souls of the dead (as this is a WWII book, there are a lot of deaths). Several characters become extremely traumatized over the course of the book, to the point where they begin to see the dead and see ghosts, some benign and some vengeful; they travel like light does, undisturbed by everything. Towards the end, Marie-Laure contemplates that the dead could be traveling through the air just like radio waves, the light we cannot see. And so everyone and everything that’s gone isn’t actually gone.

Of course, “light” could also be seen metaphorically as truth or hope. Werner is often blinded by himself, even though he has rays of truths, “lights,” like his sister or his best friend. And each character in the book maintains hope within themselves, even though eventually they almost all descend into hopelessness, unable to see the light anymore.

But in Doerr’s book we come across one of those rare scenarios where the literal meaning is as beautiful or possibly even more beautiful than the metaphorical meaning. The radios, the dead, the truths, our faded hopes: it’s all the light we cannot see.

Ant-Man: The Filler Before Civil War

Grade: A/A-

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Paul Rudd be rocking the eyebrow slits, eh?

Critics (for the last time guys, I am NOT a critic) have been calling this movie refreshingly simple… or something. Now let me tell you something, this movie is certainly the most basic Marvel recipe I have ever seen in my life yes it’s pretty simple dammit I have to agree with the critics.

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Now, if you guys still don’t know Marvel’s recipe for success, I’ll tell you it now. You take a hot white guy with a twisted sense of humor and shove him in a ridiculous / badass looking costume, take exactly ONE lead female character (no more, no less, and she has to be white… and she’ll probably become the love interest), one POC sidekick (or, in this movie’s case, a few), sometimes an old mentor / nice guy (usually a science-y person), a boring villain that’ll (SPOILERS) probably last one movie before he dies, and Marvel characters from previous movies.

ET VOILA. Recipe for success.

Success

In Ant-Man’s case, hot white man Paul Rudd plays Scott Lang, a criminal and the lesser incarnation of Ant-Man. He has an old mentor, Hank Pym, aka the more important incarnation of Ant-Man who actually created the suit and did all the research and is infinitely more impressive than Scott Lang. Together, Hank and Scott create Tony Stark, with Hank’s genius and Scott’s wit.

Hank Pym has a daughter, Hope Van Dyne, a villain in the books but apparently not yet in the movies. SIDE NOTE: I JUST REALIZED SHE TOOK HER MOTHER’S LAST NAME HELL YEAH! Okay anyways, I’m sure all you comic book lovers are wondering where the hell Janet Van Dyne (aka Wasp) is. Well she’s dead, effectively stopping the movie from having (gasp) two lead females. In addition, Scott Lang has some prison buddies, aka the people of color sidekicks (I think there might be one white sidekick but I’m not sure), who help him with heists and stuff. And then there’s the villain who’s just a super flat guy who of course gets defeated. I’m sorry for the spoiler.

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Now all this sarcasm may make it sound like I didn’t like the movie. Oh no, I did enjoy the movie (okay that sounded sarcastic too but I actually did). It was simple, granted, but it’s true that it was relatively refreshing. Everyone misses that nice old origin story and everyone likes seeing their favorite characters reappearing in the movies. Now generally it’s difficult to combine these two, but Ant-Man does a fantastic job of doing so.

The movie was funny, cute, and badass all at the same time. While it didn’t really make me think a lot, it was still exciting and fulfilling: let’s just say it was a really surprisingly nice filler before Marvel’s next main event (you know what it is… it’s my title). And even though the movie was on a much smaller scale (lol I’m so funny), it still was a big hit. Okay you know what I’m done. I’m just going to wrap this review up right now.

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ONE MORE THING THOUGH. We know that the most important parts of the movie are always the mid credits and the post credits scenes. Now I don’t want to spoil, so I’ll make it super vague. I can’t exactly explain the mid credits scene without super mega ultra spoilers, but the post credits scene is from right smack in the middle of Civil War. Chris Evans looks hotter than ever.

AND NOW A BEAUTIFUL TRANSITION TO CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR. The official official teams are finally out (sorry I might’ve been a bit wrong in my previous post). According to the official posters it looks like Black Panther is joining Tony’s team, Agent 13 (aka Sharon Carter) is joining Steve’s team, Falcon has a buddy in the air on Steve’s team, and Scarlet Witch is nowhere to be found so go figure.

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Also a really, really bad quality teaser of Civil War was leaked a couple of days ago. You literally don’t understand how bad it was unless you’ve seen it. It’s probably been removed from the internet as of now (there’s literally no point but ok), but needless to say it looks like it has a lot of characters. Not what you were expecting me to say, huh? Yeah I’m skeptical about this movie. But that’s a post for another time.

So yeah that was some review. Sorry about that; the reviews become more messed when I get stressed. And I’m stressed for school. THE TEEN LIFE, MAN.

See ya when I start school next week 🙂

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