Doctor, What is Your Catchphrase?

As a reminder that Doctor Who hiatus is more than halfway over (you can either scream in delight or terror based on how well you remember season 8), here’s a I-have-no-idea-what-to-post-this-week-post.

Many people have puzzled over the age long question, the second oldest question in the universe (after Doctor Who)…

What is the doctor’s catchphrase?

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Nine, Ten, and Eleven had pretty obvious ones. Who could forget the cheerful declaration “FANTASTIC”? Everyone remembers Ten’s declaration “ALLONS-Y” that caused French to be the language of love… that’s a lie by the way don’t go repeating that. And of course, Eleven’s phrase, which still rings fresh in our memory (because we miss his season dearly), “GERONIMO!”

When Twelve came along, one of the things I was most excited for was his catchphrase (that is, until season 8 became a huge bust and then I was excited for the monstrosity to end). As the season progressed, it became apparent that Twelve really didn’t have an obvious catchphrase.

Today, I will, once and for all, present the facts and you, the reader, can decide what Twelve’s catchphrase is.

There are several contenders.

There’s the fan favorite:

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But twelve only says this phrase once, so unfortunately this cannot be his catchphrase. Yes I know, I want it to be his catchphrase as well.

There is of course,

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Also quite possibly, just “shut up.” Twelve tends to say this phrase a lot, and Moffat also “confirms” that this is twelve’s catchphrase. However, since Moffat is so bad at writing (what with all his plotholes and his terrible botching of Doctor Who season 8), coupled the fact that he hasn’t made Johnlock canon yet, we can pretty much ignore everything he’s saying.

“Shut up,” however, remains a pretty compelling catchphrase. The Doctor also says “shut up” an incredible 21 times. But did “shut up” stand out to us like the other catchphrases of the Doctor? No. I hardly noticed Twelve saying “shut up” once (except for that one instance up above).

Therefore ignore Moffat.

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And now, you’re probably saying, “But Grace, there are literally no choices left!” Well, let me present to you these statistics.

Twelve has said “shut up” a total of 21 times.

But there is something that Twelve has said 110 times.

That’s right folks, Twelve has uttered a single phrase 110 times.

What’s this phrase you might ask?

CLARA.

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However, Clara is a pretty bad catchphrase (no offense Clara). Although it cannot be denied that “Clara” has been said the most, it’s also true that Nine and Ten both said “Rose” a lot, while Eleven had a plethora of things he called his companions (i.e. impossible girl, soufflé girl, pond, etc).

At this point though, a lot of people have accepted “Clara” to be Twelve’s catchphrase. Let me present this comic:

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Amusing? Yes I think so too.

You’ve been given the facts America… I mean world. NOW DECIDE.

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Supergirl: Age of Me

Well, once you’re done watching that monstrosity, let’s discuss. Ok, rather, I rant to you about how terrible I think it is.

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(Disclaimer: this is only about the trailer, and I have no idea how the actual show is going to turn out. But whatever.)

So I watched the trailer at 12:00 one night and once it was over I screamed “WHAT?” so loudly that I woke my entire family up. It was so bad. I was fuming. Whatever.

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While the trailer has terrible timing, terrible acting, terrible cheesiness, and of course that TERRIBLE joke at the end, the worst part of it is the SEXISM.

Go on and tell me that female superheroes “don’t work.” You wanna know why they don’t work? EXHIBIT A: SUPERGIRL TRAILER. NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH IT.

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First of all, the first 2 minutes and 30 seconds of the trailer make Kara (aka Supergirl) this awkward, lovable, dorky girl with… Wait for it… GLASSES! And of course she’s working for some rich bitchy woman who immediately becomes a “villain.” And yes. It takes 2 WHOLE MINUTES for her to discover her superhero identity power things, which for some reason she has decided to keep dormant for 20-or-so-years.

Honestly, if there wasn’t that terrible CGI-ed beginning I might’ve thought it was some sort of romantic comedy. But it isn’t. It’s show so terrible it might as well be a comedy.

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And then, when she discovers her MAGICAL powers she drops the glasses and she’s somehow magically beautiful.

And then, THE WORST PART IN THE TRAILER BY FAR.

The bitchy blond boss decides to name the new heroine “Supergirl,” and Kara disagrees, prompting bitchy blond woman to name off a list of things that makes her “awesome,” trying to make herself “superior” to Kara.

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LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR: one woman’s successes does not in ANY WAY hinder another woman. In fact, a woman’s successes should pave the way for other women. Despite how innocently this competition problem may be portrayed in the trailer, the fact of the matter is that this is the exact problem that is hindering all people from equality. We all argue about who is better, who has more problems, etc, etc. This, by the way, is totally stupid, and if the media wants to stop spreading the supposed “awesomeness” of nonsensical bitchy fights, then get rid of this fight between two very, very successful women who are both amazing in their own right.

Okay but whatever the fight is that. BUT IN THE END KARA COULDNT EVEN CHANGE HER NAME TO SUPERWOMAN!

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Oh yes, then, after telling her would-be-boyfriend about her powers, she spends 50 seconds choosing an outfit.

And then, and then, AND THEN! After she tries to join an operation to save the world (or something along those lines) and she gets snubbed (exact lines: “go back to getting someone’s coffee”), she leaves RIGHT AWAY. And then she promptly starts having a pity fest for herself. Well, that’s what the trailer made it seem like anyways.

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Jesus Christ Kara just woman up and pull off a Peggy Carter (who btw is forced to get coffee) and fight your way through the patriarchy and make all the world tremble in front of you and maybe, JUST MAYBE, Supergirl will live to see season 2.

And, finally, there are exactly 12 seconds of her ACTUALLY FIGHTING, which has perhaps the worst special effects and weakest punches I have ever seen in my entire life. Did DC waste all their special effects and stunt double resources on the Flash and Arrow or something, because their fight scenes are top of the notch movie-style, whereas Supergirl is kinda sorta stuck with DOCTOR WHO LEVEL SPECIAL EFFECTS.

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And, of course, in the end, DC has to remind you that Superman is in fact, SUPERIOR to Supergirl, even providing his BABY blanket as her FREAKING CAPE (which also means that she’s OLDER THAN HIM AND SHOULD BE MORE POWERFUL BUT I GUESS NOT).

I’m going to watch some Agent Carter to cool down. GOOD BYE.

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The Weekly Suggestion… #4?

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these amirite? Well, let’s begin.

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Movie: The Lord of the Rings. No, I have not finished the books. YES, I AM AWARE THE BOOKS ARE GREAT. But watch the movies anyways. It’s a classic and LOTR > Hobbit any day (fight me).

TV Show: Agents of SHIELD. Apparently it’s going to be very related to the greater MCU. I’m only 10 minutes into it and SPOILER ALERT: PHIL COULSON IS ALIVE! Does anyone die in Marvel? Oh yeah. Captain America Civil War -_-

Book: Where’d You Go, Bernadette? It’s an epistolary, which means (for those of you who are not educated in the fine arts of English… or in my case, googling) it’s a novel written with a bunch of letters and documents. I mean, since it’s based in modern day there are emails and stuff. And there’s some non-letter narrative in there too. But whatever. IT’S FUNNY. READ IT.

Song: Flightless Bird, American Mouth. Even its use in the Twilight Saga will NEVER DETER MY LOVE FOR THE SONG! The lyrics make absolutely no sense… aka it’s great.

Oh yes, and if you haven’t seen Taylor Swift’s new music video, watch it here. I mean, it’s highly unlikely that you’re not one of the 24,000,000 views (I wonder what the probability is…), but it’s worth a rewatch anyways.

K BYE

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Pitch Perfect 2: Prepare to Get… Mildly Pitch Slapped?

Grade: A-/B+

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Funny how the black lesbian girl is on the bottom… Minor spoilers up ahead but really they’re not that bad. I promise 🙂

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Following the ultra-successful instant classic Pitch Perfect that inspired an entire generation to join an a cappella group, Pitch Perfect 2 will… um… inspire an entire generation to… graduate college?

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Pitch Perfect 2 was satisfactory, and as far as sequels go, it was actually decent. It had its really funny moments, and its awkwardly funny moments, its forced funny moments, and the funny moments that were on the trailer that you watched so many times that it’s no longer funny. Also, there was some intense girl power, which is always important to me (who run the world? GIRLS!)

But, as you can see from the grade, I obviously have some criticism.

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The film followed the exact same plot line as the first movie. It’s like the writers were like, oh look how successful this scene was! Let’s repeat it but amp it up! Seriously. There’s yet another and more serious on-stage fail that the Barden Bellas need to fix. Beca interns at a fancier job where she wants a more famous producer to listen to her work. There’s a bigger competition that the Bellas attend. There’s even another riff-off… which starts off with Songs About Butts instead of Songs About Sex. It’s literally the exact same formula.

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Well, I mean, the formula works.

Also, be prepared to get force-fed the most cliché message in the world via highly irritating new girl Emily Junk: be yourself! Don’t try to be someone else! You have your own voice!

Well BLAH!

I mean 90% of the audience was kids under the age of 12 (exactly why I have no idea), so I guess they still need this message.

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Overall, if you want a good laugh and a throwback to Pitch Perfect, go watch this movie. Or just watch Pitch Perfect. It’s cheaper and you’ll probably enjoy it more.

ACA-OUT.

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Avengers: Age of Ultron… MORE LIKE AGE OF AWESOME AMIRITE?

Grade: A++++++++++++++++++++ (times infinity… war)

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As anyone who has read my blog knows, I’ve been waiting for this movie for at least a year now. And I am FAR from disappointed.

Besides the insane success of making approximately $185,000,000 more than any other movie in the box office at the moment, Age of Ultron is so fulfilling to fans that they’ll probably be fidgeting and squealing in their seats. Okay, that might’ve just been me but I was literally dying in the movie theater.

But honestly, whether you’re a new fan or an old fan or a MCU fan or a comics fan, if this movie doesn’t make you squeal with delight, then you’re either emotionless… or a critic… or both.

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Wait am I technically a critic? I prefer to go by critique-r. Which is not a word.

Anyways, since I have no idea how to form this review seeing as the movie was too epic and I’m still slightly in shock, I guess I’ll just go with my classic list format and give you the TOP 5 MOST AWESOMELY AWESOME THINGS ABOUT AGE OF ULTRON.

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1) An absolute plethora of characters. You thought Marvel couldn’t fit in all the anticipated characters without screwing up the film completely. Well, HAHA YOU’RE WRONG! Whether the characters got a lot of action time or a little bit of action time, everyone was a badass.

All your beloved Avengers return (some with their respective movie partners, like Captain America with Falcon or Iron Man with Iron Patriot), along with new characters, like Quicksilver, Ulysses Klaue, Scarlet Witch, and the Vision. How Marvel managed to include them all… you’ll just have to see.

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2) Character development. In terms of character development, obviously the people without individual movies got the most: Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Scarlet Witch (sorry Quicksilver you kind of got left in the dump).

Black Widow’s backstory gets explored quite thoroughly, yet we still have absolutely no idea what happened in Budapest (THANKS WHEDON). Also, I hated her entire relationship with Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk – partially because I ship Clintasha but mostly because it made Black Widow seem weak. Hawkeye actually turns out to have a really nice life outside of Avenging. No spoilers, but now I’m squinting at his relationship with Black Widow in the first Avengers. And of course, new girl Scarlet Witch undergoes some intense character development… which you can probably deduce from watching the trailers.

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3) ACTION TO THE MAX! The movie starts off with a fight scene and there are like 10 more fight scenes and literally 2/3rds of the movie are fight scenes. There’s individual badass-ness and TEAMWORK EPICNESS. There’s slow-motion and explosions and basically everything you could ever wish for.

4) Humor, humor, humor. When I wasn’t freaking out during the fight scenes I was laughing at the quips and witty retorts of the characters. There are some running jokes throughout the entire movie (and they don’t get old). Also there are some scenes where characters simply fail so much at talking that you’re simultaneously like “HAHAHA” and “oh my god that’s me.”

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5) References to past films and illusions to future films. Marvel is very good at referencing their own films explicitly but not explicitly enough to make it sound like an advertisement.

Of course Marvel had to reference past films because, you know, if you were Marvel then you would never stop talking about your achievements. Falcon mentions the search for Bucky, Captain America references Natasha’s “flirting,” and of course the entire movie is just an allusion to the first Avengers. Duh.

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Marvel also never fails to allude to future films. The rising tensions between Iron Man and Captain America, along with (SPOILERS!) the appearance of new Avengers (Scarlet Witch, Iron Patriot, Falcon), all lead up to Captain America: Civil War. Thor has some visions which set up for Thor: Ragnarok (let me tell you, they are not good visions). Black Panther is alluded to when the Avengers go to Africa to find a supply of Vibranium. And of course, all the mentions of the infinity stones (or gems or whatever) lead up to the main event of the MCU, Marvel’s INFINITY WAR!!!!!!!!!

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And thus ends the Avengers as we know it (SO MANY TEARS). But never fear! Ant-Man is about to close up the Marvel’s ultra-successful Phase 2, and Phase 3 promises the arrivals of Black Panther, Captain Marvel (who’s actually Ms. Marvel), Doctor Strange, and the Inhumans. The Guardians of the Galaxy also join together with the Avengers for the Infinity Wars. And of course, Marvel’s new partnership with Sony finally, FINALLY brings Spider-Man into the canon MCU.

ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THIS? I’M NOT! LET’S DO IT!

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Daredevil: A Catholic Lawyer Vigilante… :)

Grade: A+++++

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Isn’t it gorgeous.

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Huzzah! It’s Marvel’s newest Netflix original series, which was completely overshadowed by Age of Ultron (which I can’t see until next week URGGGH) even though it came out on April 10th.

This show is probably totally overrated but I don’t really care because IT’S NOT OVERRATED TO ME!

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Contrary to the belief of imdb, Daredevil is not in fact about the Flash, but it’s actually about Daredevil! I know, I’m sure you guys are shocked to learn this piece of news, but The Flash tells the story of the Flash.

And for you disbelievers out there about the IMDB falsehood, let me present to you, figure 1:

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But enough about the discrepancies of the internet these days. It’s time for the review!

Daredevil takes place in Hells Kitchen, aka very close to the place where the Avengers demolished everything. It tells the story of a lawyer named Matt Murdock. A very, very hot lawyer, who also happens to be VERY shirtless a lot of the time. While a lawyer by day, he’s a vigilante by night, going around and fighting crime in a black mask. Eventually, Matt discovers that the majority of crime seems to be centered around a certain group of people, who all seem to be following a single person whose name I cannot mention because then the entire series will be spoiled.

Fine, it’s Kingpin. But they don’t actually refer to the character as Kingpin in the series so I get a pass.

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Matt also happens to be a devout Catholic, which is quite the struggle considering he beats up people every night. Anyhow, his Catholicism causes him to grapple with what’s right and what’s wrong – how far would he be willing to go to keep his city safe?

Surprisingly, the villain gets quite a bit of fleshing-out as well. Kingpin gets almost as much as a childhood backstory as Matt himself does. He also gets a gorgeous and loyal wife  whom he loves dearly. His intentions for the city are… uh… the same as Matt’s (A+ intentions, D execution)? And… uh… you start feeling bad for the dude.

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The directors or writers or whatever said that the show would “blur the line between good and evil.” WELL, THEY WEREN’T LYING.

In fact, most of the characters get their own complicated stories, which weave and intertwine with other characters’ stories. Karen Page, Matt’s assistant in his law firm, goes out hunting the truth by herself. Foggy Nelson, Matt’s partner, cleverly manages to wheedle information out of his ex-girlfriend (ikr how r00d).

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And now for TOP 5 REASONS WHY YOU MUST WATCH DAREDEVIL.

1) The premise of the show is extremely dark and gritty… literally. I mean, it’s so dark sometimes that you can’t even see what’s happening (you’ve just got to turn your brightness all the way up). It’s like Marvel’s preparing to mourn for Captain America’s impending death. At least the darkness makes the show seem more realistic and epic anyways. As for the grittiness… well, it’s about as bloody as you can get outside of the land known as HBO.

2) The fight scenes and stunt scenes are insanely good… and there are a lot of them. It’s like Captain America: Winter Soldier elevator and highway fight scene level… well at least close to it (nothing can beat Captain America: Winter Soldier). For those of you who don’t speak Marvel Cinematic Universe, allow me to present to you, figure 2:

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That, my friends, is the highway fight scene.

3) Strategies and corruption. Like, the amount of people Kingpin has paid off to represent him is insane: policemen, media peoples, judges, even senators. He’s able to twist people’s public images and dispose of anyone who might reveal him. Gives you an insight to how much power rich people have, eh?

4) An excellent buildup for the next season. Season 1 was insane, but it also left dozens of opportunities for the next few seasons. Meaning, either Marvel will screw it up completely because there are way too many things to do, or, knowing Marvel’s excellent track record in the last 7 or so years, Marvel will make it TOTALLY AWESOME!

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5) Crossovers with other Marvel Netflix shows and connections to the greater Marvel Comic Universe. Which, if you’re a die-hard Marvel or just MCU fan, should excite you just as much as it excited me. First of all, there are 4 other superhero shows coming along on Netflix: AKA Jessica Jones (which stars David Tennant), Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and The Defenders. The Defenders is a team-up of the aforementioned superheroes plus Daredevil. Yes, I was brought to tears of joy when I found that out. NO YOU CANNOT JUDGE ME.

And of course, most importantly, Daredevil is canon to the greater MCU universe. For those of you who do not speak fandom, canon means that it actually connects to everything (which could potentially lead to crossovers). I will now present to you, figure 3:

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Taken straight from episode 12.

I’m dead. Bye now.

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