Z- politics, A+ entertainment
I don’t care. I really don’t care. But as I have returned from the dead to write a blog post about this, apparently I do care.
So it’s been a few months. How have you guys been? Has everything been going well? I’ve practically quit all my TV shows, but I have some ideas about to write. A few. Okay maybe I have no ideas and that’s precisely why I’m writing this blogpost.
A few disclaimers: I haven’t done this in a super long time, so I’ll need to get back into the groove of doing things. Aka writing sarcastic comments and finding relevant gifs. Considering that I’m a teenager though, it should be no problem.
Anyways, the presidential campaign. America’s reality game show that airs every four years. Don’t think that it’s like a reality game show? Consider the fact that there are eliminations, judges (kind of a stretch, but the people who ask the questions), people drop out, and the people of America vote for their favorite candidate. Honestly it’s literally the recipe of a reality game show. Come on America. Don’t be sheep.
Just like every reality game show, there are archetypes and personalities that are just screaming out our faces. Here are archetypes for the presidential candidates. Bear in mind that I live in liberal New York City, so my viewpoints are a bit biased.
ANYWAYS, BACK TO THE GOOD OLD LISTS 😀
1. The one that’s here to win. Hillary Clinton through and through. She’s been through this process already and she’s probably completely over losing. She’s here to beat the crap out of her contestants. But of course, there’s always the wild card. Or the underdog. Or the dark horse. Or the Bernie Sanders. Whatever you’d like to call that person.
2. The one that everyone loves to hate. Donald Trump. Obviously. And this guy that everyone loves to hate is the smartest guy. Why? Because he gets all the attention. This guy always makes it into the final round because he racks up viewership and makes things interesting. But how does this guy fare in the final round? Well, if he’s still acting like a completely douchebag at that time, the public will vote him out… I mean, the public won’t vote for him.
3. The dark horse. Bernie Sanders. This guy is so liberal and socialist and actually fights for people’s rights, so it’s no wonder that even though he’s the underdog, he’s still doing super well. You know what I live in New York.
4. The one that doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing. Jeb Bush. Have you seen his eyes?
5. The one that nobody knows exists. Martin O’Malley. And also half of the Republican candidates. Seriously, who are these people? John Kasich? Bobby Jindal? Mike Huckabee? Also I still have no idea who Marco Rubio is. Is he the replacement for the game Marco Polo? MARCO! RUBIO!
6. The one that decides to screw everything up. Thanks Bloomberg. First you left New York with that guy who dropped the groundhog in office (seriously, google Mayor DeBlasio drops groundhog), and now you’re messing with the presidential campaign? You simply KNOW that if you actually run you’re going to take votes away from the Democratic party with your independent-ness. I guess he’s in a New York state of mind. All lone wolf and stuff.
7. The one who always gets in second place. Ted Cruz. Although, he did do okay in Iowa. But no matter how much he wins, he will always be in second place. It’s like Yale. Yale has been better than Harvard, but everyone knows that it’s second place. Second place isn’t a position – it’s a way of life.
8. The one you thought you would like but actually turns out to be a giant douchebag. Ben Carson. ‘Nuff said.
So there you have it. You don’t have to watch this dumb reality TV show. But make sure you watch the final round, because before you know it, one of these idiots is going to be your next president!
I hate politics.