Grace’s Views on Politics and the Current Presidential Campaign

Z- politics, A+ entertainment

I don’t care. I really don’t care. But as I have returned from the dead to write a blog post about this, apparently I do care.

i_give_too_many_f_s_dan_howell.gif

So it’s been a few months. How have you guys been? Has everything been going well? I’ve practically quit all my TV shows, but I have some ideas about to write. A few. Okay maybe I have no ideas and that’s precisely why I’m writing this blogpost.

A few disclaimers: I haven’t done this in a super long time, so I’ll need to get back into the groove of doing things. Aka writing sarcastic comments and finding relevant gifs. Considering that I’m a teenager though, it should be no problem.

tumblr_n35b7efTQS1trrasao1_500.gif

Anyways, the presidential campaign. America’s reality game show that airs every four years. Don’t think that it’s like a reality game show? Consider the fact that there are eliminations, judges (kind of a stretch, but the people who ask the questions), people drop out, and the people of America vote for their favorite candidate. Honestly it’s literally the recipe of a reality game show. Come on America. Don’t be sheep.

Just like every reality game show, there are archetypes and personalities that are just screaming out our faces. Here are archetypes for the presidential candidates. Bear in mind that I live in liberal New York City, so my viewpoints are a bit biased.

empire-state-of-mind-jpg.gif

ANYWAYS, BACK TO THE GOOD OLD LISTS 😀

1. The one that’s here to win. Hillary Clinton through and through. She’s been through this process already and she’s probably completely over losing. She’s here to beat the crap out of her contestants. But of course, there’s always the wild card. Or the underdog. Or the dark horse. Or the Bernie Sanders. Whatever you’d like to call that person.

2. The one that everyone loves to hate. Donald Trump. Obviously. And this guy that everyone loves to hate is the smartest guy. Why? Because he gets all the attention. This guy always makes it into the final round because he racks up viewership and makes things interesting. But how does this guy fare in the final round? Well, if he’s still acting like a completely douchebag at that time, the public will vote him out… I mean, the public won’t vote for him.

3. The dark horse. Bernie Sanders. This guy is so liberal and socialist and actually fights for people’s rights, so it’s no wonder that even though he’s the underdog, he’s still doing super well. You know what I live in New York.

4. The one that doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing. Jeb Bush. Have you seen his eyes?

5. The one that nobody knows exists. Martin O’Malley. And also half of the Republican candidates. Seriously, who are these people? John Kasich? Bobby Jindal? Mike Huckabee? Also I still have no idea who Marco Rubio is. Is he the replacement for the game Marco Polo? MARCO! RUBIO!

6. The one that decides to screw everything up. Thanks Bloomberg. First you left New York with that guy who dropped the groundhog in office (seriously, google Mayor DeBlasio drops groundhog), and now you’re messing with the presidential campaign? You simply KNOW that if you actually run you’re going to take votes away from the Democratic party with your independent-ness. I guess he’s in a New York state of mind. All lone wolf and stuff.

7. The one who always gets in second place. Ted Cruz. Although, he did do okay in Iowa. But no matter how much he wins, he will always be in second place. It’s like Yale. Yale has been better than Harvard, but everyone knows that it’s second place. Second place isn’t a position – it’s a way of life.

8. The one you thought you would like but actually turns out to be a giant douchebag. Ben Carson. ‘Nuff said.

So there you have it. You don’t have to watch this dumb reality TV show. But make sure you watch the final round, because before you know it, one of these idiots is going to be your next president!

I hate politics.

Advertisements

Weekly Update #1

This is not going to be a regular thing but considering that so much entertainment stuff happened this week both to me and to the fandom world(s) I have to make an update. Actually only three things happened. BUT ALL OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT… sort of. It’s also because I don’t have time to make a legitimate post.

ryxAyzVDQ8SMDKqt65fn_tumblr_mps9wwSKHB1qd1veuo1_500

First of all, Doctor Who season 9 began! I did not watch the pilot. I heard Maisie William is in it and that’s pretty much enough to convince me to watch it… during winter break.

Second of all, I finished Parks and Recreation! For those of you who have never been on tumblr (losers… who have lives), you probably know Parks and Rec as that one show that generates all those posts and stuff. But it’s so much more. Even though it’s a comedy I cried in the last episode. There will probably be a post about it coming up in the next week.

603

(Ron is literally my spirit animal)

Third, AKA JESSICA JONES PREMIERE ANNOUNCEMENT IS OUT BEEP BEEP BEEP CODE RED ALERT MARVEL FANDOM ARISE. There are also some photos you can probably find from Google (yes, David Tennant is in it for all of you who don’t know… for some reason a lot of people didn’t know). And here is the premiere announcement below (yes that IS an Of Monsters and Men Song).

NOVEMBER 20TH I’M SO EXCITED. It’s perfect. I want it to be the title sequence. But it’s also not very informative, as Marvel does it’s usual “it’s a teaser and you have to dig for easter eggs” crap. You can hear David Tennant saying “Jessica” four times if you listen carefully enough. But you know, as a professional at this I can extrapolate meaning from extensive wikipedia-ing of Marvel comics. And YouTube comments because those are actually very helpful sometimes. But most of the time it’s haters.

Anyways…

David Tennant is playing this character called the Purple Man (not the Purple Guy, as per Five Nights at Freddy’s… which probably no one knows or cares about), aka Dr. Killgrave. See what I did there with the AKA? Ignore me.

tumblr_n83ogdpJMg1tuiacso1_250

Purple Man happens to be able to control minds, and in the comic books he especially likes controlling Jessica’s mind, so basically the fact that David Tennant says “Jessica” four times means that HE WILL BE CONTROLLING JESSICA’S MIND. MIND CONTROL MADNESS.

Also Luke Cage is gonna make his first appearance (woot woot get ready for his show next year).

Okay all those obvious things aside (because I don’t want to figure out what the rest of the trailer means), this show looks like it’s going to be as dark and gritty or probably even darker and grittier than Daredevil. *Cue excitement*

giphy

Well that’s all the news from my life!

SEE YA!

Ant-Man: The Filler Before Civil War

Grade: A/A-

MV5BMjM2NTQ5Mzc2M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNTcxMDI2NTE@._V1_SX640_SY720_

Paul Rudd be rocking the eyebrow slits, eh?

Critics (for the last time guys, I am NOT a critic) have been calling this movie refreshingly simple… or something. Now let me tell you something, this movie is certainly the most basic Marvel recipe I have ever seen in my life yes it’s pretty simple dammit I have to agree with the critics.

giphy

Now, if you guys still don’t know Marvel’s recipe for success, I’ll tell you it now. You take a hot white guy with a twisted sense of humor and shove him in a ridiculous / badass looking costume, take exactly ONE lead female character (no more, no less, and she has to be white… and she’ll probably become the love interest), one POC sidekick (or, in this movie’s case, a few), sometimes an old mentor / nice guy (usually a science-y person), a boring villain that’ll (SPOILERS) probably last one movie before he dies, and Marvel characters from previous movies.

ET VOILA. Recipe for success.

Success

In Ant-Man’s case, hot white man Paul Rudd plays Scott Lang, a criminal and the lesser incarnation of Ant-Man. He has an old mentor, Hank Pym, aka the more important incarnation of Ant-Man who actually created the suit and did all the research and is infinitely more impressive than Scott Lang. Together, Hank and Scott create Tony Stark, with Hank’s genius and Scott’s wit.

Hank Pym has a daughter, Hope Van Dyne, a villain in the books but apparently not yet in the movies. SIDE NOTE: I JUST REALIZED SHE TOOK HER MOTHER’S LAST NAME HELL YEAH! Okay anyways, I’m sure all you comic book lovers are wondering where the hell Janet Van Dyne (aka Wasp) is. Well she’s dead, effectively stopping the movie from having (gasp) two lead females. In addition, Scott Lang has some prison buddies, aka the people of color sidekicks (I think there might be one white sidekick but I’m not sure), who help him with heists and stuff. And then there’s the villain who’s just a super flat guy who of course gets defeated. I’m sorry for the spoiler.

giphy-1

Now all this sarcasm may make it sound like I didn’t like the movie. Oh no, I did enjoy the movie (okay that sounded sarcastic too but I actually did). It was simple, granted, but it’s true that it was relatively refreshing. Everyone misses that nice old origin story and everyone likes seeing their favorite characters reappearing in the movies. Now generally it’s difficult to combine these two, but Ant-Man does a fantastic job of doing so.

The movie was funny, cute, and badass all at the same time. While it didn’t really make me think a lot, it was still exciting and fulfilling: let’s just say it was a really surprisingly nice filler before Marvel’s next main event (you know what it is… it’s my title). And even though the movie was on a much smaller scale (lol I’m so funny), it still was a big hit. Okay you know what I’m done. I’m just going to wrap this review up right now.

giphy-2

ONE MORE THING THOUGH. We know that the most important parts of the movie are always the mid credits and the post credits scenes. Now I don’t want to spoil, so I’ll make it super vague. I can’t exactly explain the mid credits scene without super mega ultra spoilers, but the post credits scene is from right smack in the middle of Civil War. Chris Evans looks hotter than ever.

AND NOW A BEAUTIFUL TRANSITION TO CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR. The official official teams are finally out (sorry I might’ve been a bit wrong in my previous post). According to the official posters it looks like Black Panther is joining Tony’s team, Agent 13 (aka Sharon Carter) is joining Steve’s team, Falcon has a buddy in the air on Steve’s team, and Scarlet Witch is nowhere to be found so go figure.

Where-is-she-arthur-and-gwen-32672206-500-279

Also a really, really bad quality teaser of Civil War was leaked a couple of days ago. You literally don’t understand how bad it was unless you’ve seen it. It’s probably been removed from the internet as of now (there’s literally no point but ok), but needless to say it looks like it has a lot of characters. Not what you were expecting me to say, huh? Yeah I’m skeptical about this movie. But that’s a post for another time.

So yeah that was some review. Sorry about that; the reviews become more messed when I get stressed. And I’m stressed for school. THE TEEN LIFE, MAN.

See ya when I start school next week 🙂

large

The Weekly Suggestion #5

I haven’t done this in ages! As usual. Let’s begin.

giphy

Movie: The Dark Knight Trilogy. I have been mostly or slightly biased towards Marvel until I watched this trilogy. Now I love DC and Marvel equally. The movie was dark, action-packed, and overall fulfilling to the max. I just don’t understand why they decided to recast Batman. Especially with Ben Affleck! Of all people! Also DC’s record of who is in the main DC Cinematic Universe is (dare I say it) way more complicated than Marvel’s. None of the TV shows are in the Cinematic Universe (apparently they have a universe of their own), and The Dark Knight Trilogy isn’t either, so DC has to recast the Flash and Batman… and possibly Oliver Queen at some future time. Sounds fun.

TV Show: Orange is the New Black. I’ve only gotten through something like the first seven episodes, but I can already tell you that this show has the most diverse group of characters I’ve ever seen (in a live-action show, because The Legend of Korra does a fantastic job as well), featuring different races (I’d like to see more Asian people), sexualities, genders, religions, etc. If only Piper would admit that she’s bisexual.

Book: All the Light We Cannot See. As per usual, Grace has only gotten through the first 50 or so pages of this book. Nevertheless, I can already tell you that this book is gorgeously written. It’s a story set in WWII and told through the eyes of two children (I mean, at the end they’re young adults). It may sound like the Book Thief but they’re pretty much nothing alike.

Song: Mr. Brightside. A 2000s-but-definitely-already classic song. I’ve gotten obsessed with it recently. It’s definitely worth your time to listen to it about 1000000 times on repeat. Like I have. Because I’ve been indoors for 72 hours straight doing nothing.

So next week I’m off to China to visit the fam. If you’ve never been to China, then you’re probably jealous of me. If you’ve been to China then you probably feel sorry for me. I’d be excited except I have this horrible cold so I’m not particularly excited for this trip. Anyways, I won’t be blogging next week but I’ll see you the week after!

Bye y’all!

large

Civil War: PICK A SIDE

NOTE: this post was written by a person who hasn’t seen Ant-Man yet so I swear to god if you people know some Civil War stuff because of the movie you better not say it and save us Ant-Man deprived humans from spoilers.

If you aren’t a hard core Marvel fan or maybe just internet deprived then you might not have heard the news: CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR TEAMS ARE OUT!

And now for you guys who are actually REALLY Internet and nerd culture deprived. Captain America: Civil War is a movie that’s coming out in 2016, where Captain America and Iron Man acquire teams and battle it out against each other because of some stuff relating to superhero registration (Iron Man is pro-registration, Cap is anti-registration). It’s basically the opposite of Batman v Superman. Cuz Batman v Superman is bringing the Justice League together whereas Civil War is tearing the Avengers apart.

For months people have been speculating the teams of Civil War. Well, at least I have. But the movie gods have answered our prayers, and thus begins Marvel’s torturous teasing of Civil War.

I WILL NOW REVIEW THE TEAMS and you can decide for yourself whose team you want to be on. Be warned: there is one double agent (and I’ll write my speculations about who this person is)

TEAM CAPTAIN AMERICA

static1.squarespace

Captain America (duh): the first Avenger, all around super nice guy. Also Chris Evans. Also really hot. But that’s not a deciding factor right. Right?

Hawkeye: He gained lots love after Age of Ultron. Who doesn’t love a guy who has a really adorable family? He’ll be sure to join Cap’s side with his family’s wishes. Just think about that.

Falcon: How shocking! Cap’s sidekick (and current Cap in the comics) is on his side! Falcon’s pretty badass and while most of the people on this team fight on the ground, it’ll be fun watching Falcon take on essentially everyone from Team Iron Man in the air.

Scarlet Witch: After what Hawkeye did for her, I’m not surprised she’s on this team. Being one of the most powerful Avengers so far, she’ll definitely be a plus to this team.

The Winter Soldier: surprise, surprise. Cap’s best friend is on his side. Well, actually we’ll have to see how his crazy Hydra assassin alter ego gets resolved first.

Ant-Man: I guess reasons why Ant-Man is on Team Cap will become apparent to me after I watch the movie. He’ll definitely be an advantage to Team Cap. He also has a family that he needs to protect, so more righteousness I suppose.

Overall, Cap’s team is strong. However, most of the characters fight on the ground (with the exception of Falcon), which Team Iron Man, which is mainly air-based, can easily exploit. In terms of justification, both Hawkeye and Ant-Man have families they need to protect, so maybe they chose this side because it’s safer for them and for everyone.

TEAM IRON MAN

static1.squarespace-1

Iron Man (duh): Genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist. What if you remove all that? He’s just a poor guy who’s getting over PTSD and who wants to keep his team together at any cost. He wants to go home and end all the fighting. Maybe he’s really the good guy. Or maybe he’ll do anything to stop the fighting for good.

The Vision: This dude has a flipping INFINITY STONE in his forehead. How can Cap’s team win against him? I mean honestly, if it were Vision vs. everyone else, the Vision would win.

Spider-Man: Well he’s finally in the comic universe! If the movie turns out anything like the comics, (SPOILERS!) Spider-Man will switch sides. We’ll see.

Black Widow: This is my WTF. Why the hell is Black Widow on Tony’s side? After everything that happened in Winter Soldier, I’d think that she would be on Steve’s side. Which is why she’s probably the double agent. She owes a lot of loyalty to Steve, and she also has a lot of familial love with Hawkeye. (Then again, if Bruce is in Civil War, then he’d be on Tony’s side, and then Black Widow would be on Bruce’s side… speculation, man)

War Machine: Like Falcon is to Cap, War Machine is to Tony. Marvel’s desperate reach for diversity by making all the sidekicks black. But not making Spider-Man black like in the comics. Hopefully War Machine will get better “moments” in Civil War.

Overall, Iron Man’s team is essentially, how to put it, FREAKING UNBEATABLE. With the Vision holding an infinity stone, and the combined genius of Iron Man and Spider-Man, along with the amount of aerial attacks they can perform, Team Iron Man is sure to win. Unless, of course, someone on Team Iron Man spills all the secrets to Team Cap. In terms of justification, no one has as big a family as Ant-Man or Hawkeye, so they’re obviously fighting for different reasons.

YOU HAVE THE FACTS (AKA MY OPINIONS). NOW CHOOSE A TEAM!

Serial… Killer?

Grade: A+

serial-social-logo

From this American Life it’s Serial, a story told week by week. Serial is a podcast (if y’all didn’t know). Podcasts are like audiobooks except not really. I don’t know the exact definition. I mean, according to Apple Dictionary, a podcast is a multimedia digital file made available on the Internet for downloading to a portable media player, computer, etc, but if you’re like me that means absolutely nothing.

So let’s go with this definition: a podcast is an audio blog. It can be structured, it can be rant-y, etc. Serial, as I mentioned, is a structured story. It’s a true story about the trial of Adnan Syed, a man who was convicted for the murder of his ex-girlfriend, Hae Min Lee, and sentenced to life in jail 15 years earlier. The story, while originally quite a minor murder case, has risen into insane popularity because of the podcast (I mean, bruh, it’s been downloaded over 65 million times). It’s full of intriguing characters, questionable choices, loads of evidence, and ultimately NO CONCLUSION: it’s up to the listener to decide whether to Adnan is guilty or not.

bad-at-making-decisions-new-girl-gif

The podcast is 12 episodes long, but each episode seems to have something new, whether it’s a new witness or new evidence or new speculation over old evidence. You’ll hear evidence from Adnan himself, Adnan’s friends, Adnan’s accuser Jay, Jay’s friends, members of Adnan’s mosque, lawyers who have chosen to look over Adnan’s case, detectives, and more. You’ll hear recordings from the case in 1999. You’ll look into evidence about the case, Adnan’s character, and even the reliability of Adnan’s lawyer.

Throughout each episode you will definitely have conflicting opinions on whether Adnan is guilty or not. I’ve literally gone through an episode with my opinion changing about 10 times. It doesn’t help that the narrator, Sara Koenig, keeps changing her opinion as well. I swear to god, if Sara Koenig changes her opinion one more time my brain might explode.

s8JlpMN

And then there are those moments when it suddenly hits you: like, this is a true story. Some girl named Hae Min Lee actually did die. Her family and friends did mourn. And if Adnan Syed isn’t guilty, then a person who loved Hae Min Lee is stuck in jail for not murdering her. And her death seems so terrible and scary and horrible. And it’s so strange to think that it happened so long ago that people are talking casually about it. IT’S JUST SCARY MAN.

Personally, I don’t think Adnan Syed is innocent. Or, if he is guilty, there’s not enough proof yet to convict him. But you’ll have to listen to the podcast yourself if you want to form an opinion of your own. And listen to the entire podcast before you form an opinion, because your opinion will most certainly change in some way from the beginning.

post-44556-cersei-stop-oh-wait-ive-change-Qzcp

Good lord this post sounds incredibly serious. Okay. This podcast is absolutely amazing. Nothing’s better than a true story, It’s amazing. SO HAVE FUN STRESSING OUT OVER IF YOU THINK ADNAN IS GUILTY OR NOT!

HAPPY LISTENINGS!

Kingsman: The Secret-ish Service

Grade: A-

maxresdefault

‘Ello mates I am late to the party as usual. Pip pip cheerio. And all that rot.

I am not British.

I do have a British friend though. She forced me to write this post. She thinks that this movie is so fabulously British. She also told me to watch Kingsman instead of rewatching Lord of the Rings, and I STILL WOULDN’T CHOOSE IT OVER REWATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS FYI.

This movie is probably the most stereotypically British thing in the universe. Super thick queen-like accents, swearing, weird action scenes, rude humor, and Colin Firth. Basically, the staples of my life.

giphy

If you’re on tumblr, you’ve probably seen some gifsets and videos of this movie (specifically that one scene with the “fireworks” and yes I’m being super vague because SPOILERS). If you don’t have a tumblr first of all what are you doing with your life, and second of all don’t get one or else you will not have a life.

Kingsman tells the story of a secret agent spies (*wink*) organization that is composed entirely of British people. Anyways they go around the world and prevent shit from happening. This certainly explains the number of terrorist attacks going on in the world today.

tumblr_luteohDTJy1qb6qm9

Anyways, during a mission a while ago, a man from Kingsman dies (oh no). His son is named Eggsy (#namegoals). When Eggsy gets old enough he’s a hooligan criminal type boy, and then Colin Firth from Kingsman bails him out of jail and sends him to an initiation process for the secret service where people sort of can die.

When Eggsy is being initiated, Samuel L Jackson is plotting to destroy the world with a lady whose legs are swords.

It’s basically as stupid as it sounds.

charlie-day-stupid1

Fortunately, this movie does an excellent job making stupid funny. I mean, we’ve all seen those movies where stupid is just stupid (cough Adam Sandler movies), but this movie had some moments that were simply just so gloriously stupid they were hilarious. And it’s not the it’s-so-bad-it’s-good type of movie. It’s just good.

Wow it looks like I’m just trying to meet the word count. (Which I am)

497879486b0085b995d78298d3523bcad03a4b4f0e38cc043b9f7f24663a6e6a_1

Anyways you have to watch the movie to understand.

I didn’t really take anything away from this movie at all, so if you’re looking for some deep thoughts from Grace you have come to the wrong place today.

CIAO!

okbyep1